Birthing the Self from the Emptiness Within

Giving birth is one of the most ordinary and un-ordinary things.

It"s ordinary because it is so common. It is un-ordinary for people who, for some reason, can"t conceive, or can"t keep the embryo alive.

What is a lot less ordinary, is giving birth to a Self.

Looking at the list of famous people, most of them never birthing a self, one can see that giving birth to a Self is one of the least ordinary things to happen on Planet Earth.

And just like a child, you never actually experience your own Self being born... but you do notice that there is a distinct line of demarcation: the before the birth of a Self and the after.

As a personal evolution coach ((I am experimenting with expressing what it is I do... let"s see if this new expression sticks, shall we?)) I am witnessing it for the first time.

Let me confess something to you: As a coach I can do a lot, except to the work you need to do.

But as a coach, I often fall into the mistaken assumption, that I know what will happen. I don"t.

You talk to me, for example, for a few hours a week, for a few hours every other week, and the rest of the time, we may exchange emails, but you are back in your environment. And I have no idea what influences you have, no idea how much of what we talked about took root in your consciousness, so I am out of the loop.

So I am surprised when you have a breakthrough, and I am surprised when you have a total collapse... And I have witnessed both recently, not on the same person.

Total collapse is quite frequent, by the way.

Breakthrough isn"t... but one began recently for one of my clients: the inner formation of the Self.

Will it complete? Will it actually take the client to Selfhood?

Not certain... too many factors, too many influences, you can only hope. But there is a glimmer of hope, a definite heartbeat, a definite "life" inside that cavernous place people are so afraid to look. The place that alternately feels empty or like the abyss... the place they fill up with experiences, and lots of words, because it scares the bejesus out of them.

The place it took the Buddha seven years to stare down. And then he filled it with words... teaching is words. And then his disciples made a religion of it. Ugh. Ugly.

When you have a Self, you know who you are. And you can be true to who you are.

Self is not what you want... Self is who you are. And wants, and desires, and wishes, and pulls and pushes, urges, are clearly not coming from the Self. The Self wants nothing. And because it wants nothing, it can guide you to live out your life as a full life-experience, alive, awake, and having a choice.

What you call "choice" isn"t.

There is a famous exercise in the Landmark Forum about choice... chocolate or vanilla: choose!

Most of us, exactly 99.5% of us don"t see choice, exactly the way you don"t see value.

Remember, you cannot see value if there is anything wrong with what you are looking at. The value is right behind you: the other direction.

The same is with choice, but with choice you can see that your wants, and urges, and desires, and your "wanting to, needing to, having to, and shoulds" interfere with seeing choice... so you always decide (kill of the alternative) or refuse to decide... which is what you do when you procrastinate.

There is no YOU to choose, there are only these forces that are random, that have taken over your life.

Your core is empty, so every wind, every scare will bend you and you"ll wave and wave... no rhyme, no reason... or more precisely, you are never the reason... it is always outside of you.

You are not a cause, you are the effect.

You are late because...
You are fat because...
You are sick because...
You are happy because...

And if we take away those outside causes... there is nothing there... a puddle of cells... no consciousness.

And then rarely, so rarely that this client"s Self is only the second (the first was a woman some 15 years ago, but we didn"t stay in touch, so there was no witnessing) time I am encountering the magic or nothing to something phenomenon.

What is different? How did I notice that something is happening?

When you start to evolve a Self, there is a solider, firmer feel to you. Your sentences, the words you choose, the flimsiness of your expression tightens up and it is unmistakable... if you know how to listen.

Of course, without a Self people listen with the mind... so the changes are lost on you: you didn"t notice flimsy and you won"t notice solid.

You"ll notice when the giving birth is completed, and you can push and pull and manipulate and coerce and cajole the once empty person... but this time nothing happens. Your efforts are wasted.

A person with a Self is like the Daruma Doll...

Life for a Daruma Doll is a whole different experience. Things will happen, as they always do, but you are untouched.

I remember when I was attempting to activate the capacity of being impervious.

The path to a more complete understanding of what is needed for a capacity to come alive has taken the scenic route.

But now we know more... and therefore help more people to make that personal evolution from empty shell to personhood.

Do I have any promises? Of course not.

Ultimately YOU do the work, I provide the guidance.