Friday, March 22, 2019

The Process Of Raising Your Vibration Is A Spiritual Process... Here Are The First Steps You Must Take

[caption id="attachment_48991" align="alignleft" width="300"]the self is an empty space Photo by Colmar Wocke[/caption]

The process of raising your vibration is a spiritual process. It is a process where you regain your power, you restore your soul to its rightful place, where you restore your Self to its fullness, and you become an individual.

If you are like most people owned by the Dark Side, i.e. you are 99.3% of the population, your whole existence, your attention is directed outward. You expect everything to come from there, meaning, love, respect, value, knowledge, even spirit. You think that by connecting to Source (outside of you) you become spiritual.

you are an empty shellTherefore the most important action is to turn your existence, your attention away from the outside.

The purpose of meditation, real meditation, is not to calm you, but to take you away from the outside.


But real meditation is a meditative way of living. Mrs. Roosevelt said best: What other think about me is none of my business.

The only person that wants to be with others, wants to know what other people think, etc. is the person who has no self. Nobody home. Vacant. Empty. Machine. Second-hander. Wants to be told, given, filled up. Loved.

Your job, if you want to raise your vibration, is to fill that empty space with you, your self, your spirit, your being. It may take a long time, but it"s worth it, because your life can only be a reflection of what you are: empty, vacant, void of self: Your laughter will be hollow and pretentious, maybe even hysterical. Your sadness will look for a reason. But your sadness will be real.

So how do you do it? How do you get out of that life of void?

First step is to know what is the job you need to start: Turning away from the outside as the source of your being, to your own self. The emptiness you"ll experience will be real, will be excruciating, but there is no way to avoid it. Just be with it. It will soon be filled with your self.

The harmonize audio, or for some of you the "get into the present" audio will do the energetic part, don"t worry, they work, work hard. And for the pain, sadness, anguish over the emptiness, take copious doses of Heaven on Earth. If you are an empath or a sensitive, read the footnote: [note]

If you are a sensitive or an empath, you will have an additional task: distinguishing what is your feeling and what is not your feeling. And most of the feelings you feel are not yours, as many as 90%. You will need to be able to observe the feelings like an ugly bug, that is not you. the Heaven on Earth doesn"t eliminate the feelings of others, but it helps with the reactions you have to those feelings.

For example, a feeling of doom comes and feels like yours... it will feel like yours. The mind says: Oh my god, what did I do wrong? What do I do now? Where can I escape? and that generates another set of feelings, and these are yours.

Once you can tell that the original feeling of doom wasn"t yours, you won"t react to it.

That is the purpose of the empath training. To set you apart from what"s borrowed.[/note]

empty_chair_artYou live in a castle with modern amenities, but you only occupy the maid"s room... because you are never at home. You live like a pauper, you borrow your feelings, your ideas, your likes and dislikes, you seek guidance outside of you, and you feel miserable. Then you come to me and you think that there is a magic bullet. Oh, Sophie teach me to connect to Source, that will make me happy.

But Source, as you say it, is like just another god, just another way to avoid being you, being with yourself. You hate yourself, you despise yourself, and the only reason you don"t kill that little wretched you, because you still have hope. But you hope for something from the outside, and that makes you even more wretched. You hope something for me, but I prefer to tell you that it"s hopeless! The way you want it, that is.

There is a whole unexplored universe inside you, beautiful, vast, magnificent. It is great, but you must cut your ties with all the borrowed views, all the interest in pleasing others. You can"t live inside and outside at the same time.

You can"t be a slave and a master at the same time.


In The Fountainhead, there is a character who wasn"t born to be a second-hander, a second-hander who looks outside for its own source. Gail Wynand. But he becomes a second-hander by seeking power over people. He is your proof that there is no joy, there is no fulfillment in being dependent on the outside.

The book is long, over 700 pages, and it is philosophical, with very long paragraphs, but it is a very good illustration of the producer, the moocher, the looter, and the in-between.

Dominique, the female of the book needs to cut her ties with what others think, what may happen (outside), what people can do to you, and only then she will become a real person. Until then she is an empty shell, without a Self.

I have a membership site with the online version of the book and the movie. It is useful to see the movie, though the story was altered by the author herself: she needed to fit a 700 page story into a 90-minute film. But you will be able to see the characters, and for most of you that will be useful.

There is a membership fee to access movies on that site... I filter who I allow to pay... Email me if you want to become a paid member. You also need to be a subscriber to my emails... no exception.

Get out of your mind and take control of your life

Getting out of the mind is easy to do, hard to teach...


Mainly because the words are misleading: you don"t want to control your mind, you can"t. You want to control and direct your attention. Your mind is not controllable... But your attention is.

Once you get the hang of it... have an experience outside of your mind, life starts to open up.

The trick is not to try to change your thoughts... that would still trap you in the mind. Or change your fear... or change your desire... or change anything.

What works is to take your attention off the mind and put it on something, anything, in the present. My favorite is to download the Heaven on Earth and follow the path of the energy bundle through the 40 stops. It goes slowly, and it does work on all the 40 locations in the body: removing blockages, one after the other. I don"t remember where I teach the stops... so I may have to recreate it... I"ll add it to this post. Email me if you want it.


Another way to move your attention off the mind is to do the "find your feet" exercise... search the site to find it... I share it in some other article.

A third way is to start examining minutely your hand... you can even do that while you talk to someone, or listen to a lecture...

What is wrong with the mind-control type of teachings?





    1. the mind-control teachings, the teachings that say: control your mind? After all they say that if you can control your mind, you can achieve anything...

    2. And the Law of Attraction teachers/fans say: if you hold the image in your mind, and hold onto it long enough, it will happen...

    3. And the Positive Thinking people say: if you can turn everything into its opposite, or just avoid saying anything negative, you"ll be happy, and blah blah blah...






The problem with these "teachings" is that they don"t understand how a human works. They approach it, alternately from the body machine angle, then the mystical angle, but they never see that it is neither, and it"s both.

Human Being would be the highest life form we know... at this point of our knowledge.

Let me look at some examples of life forms, so you know what I am talking about.

We"ll look at life forms from the point of view of their adaptability to circumstances, from the point of view of their chances of survival.

rockWe are going to look at



    • a rock (we"ll use it as contrast)

    • a tree




a tamed elephant

  • a domesticated or tamed animal, like an elephant or a cow


 



    • a domesticated or tamed human (socialized, educated, mind directed)




a gazelle

  • a gazelle


 

  • and a human being (someone who does not live in their mind)


We"ll look at their behavior in a situation where mobility means survival. A flood... like Katrina, like Hurricane Sandy.

A rock, a tree, a domesticated animal and a domesticated human will perish.

Why? They are encumbered. They are not mobile. They are not free to act on emergency: they are tied to a location, and won"t move. Their source of nourishment and their source of self is tied to a location: they"d rather die than move. Of course, the tree and the rock can"t move, but neither can a domesticated animal or human... they are not much higher a life-form than a rock or a tree.

The gazelle is not tied to anything... it will run until it gets to higher ground, or die trying. And the same is true for a real human being...

The part that makes an animal and a human susceptible to annihilation is that they expect things given to them, and they expect it to continue forever...

The "organ" that tells them that it"s what they should do: expect things to continue forever, is the mind


But life is not friendly to beings holding their hands out, hoping there is someone or something that is supposed to take care of them. Life, actually, is disrupted by these hands-out people, and their "keepers"... and Life will eliminate them when it will have had enough.

We could say that the number one enemy of life is the Mind.


The mind that you are a slave to, the mind that is unable to be in the present, or even relate to it, the mind that is a never ending repetition of 1"s and zeros... without any rhyme and reason, but more importantly, without giving a hoot whether you live or die.

It is near impossible to teach to get out of the mind, because you are listening to what I am saying through the mind. If you are listening for knowledge or understanding, you are listening from the mind... and the mind may lie to you and say that you can get out of the mind, but it can"t and it won"t.

listen as if what I say were the shower that gets you wetYou want to listen without focus, without concern, without paying particular "mind" to what I am saying. You want to take it like you take the water in the shower... allow it to wash over you, so you can get wet.

That, abandoning understanding, is the first step to shake off the tyranny of the mind over life, over your life.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Process conscious vs result conscious... fulfillment every day vs one day someday

I have a brain that is a pattern seeking machine.

A pattern is when something is repeating, form, essence, pitch, sequence, day of the week, month of the year, etc... something that connects seemingly unconnected things together.

Seeing patterns can save lives, and animals living in the wild still have the capacity, but humans living in a comfortable world, have lost it... to their detriment.

Often the activity is called: connecting the dots... Even if Steve Jobs says: it is only possible to connect the dots backwards. He talks about different dots... he talks about the cause and effect type of dots, not the patterns.



Pattern recognition is a capacity that is closed, inactive, for most people. It is very hard to become successful without it, because without pattern recognition everything shows up as a new problem, even though it may be part of a pattern, and has been solved before.

One of my students have managed to see the similarity, and the pattern between machinery and playing the guitar... He is a rare specimen.

You cannot detect patterns if you look with a narrow cone of vision, or if you can"t see past and present together, in the same glance. Also, if you hang out in your mind... You need to be present, right now, with the thing you are looking at, or no connection can be created.

Another way to be unable to see most patterns if you always look from the same vantage point: for most people that is looking through the concern that nails their foot to the floor. Popular concerns: Avoid domination, avoid seeing their dark side, avoid being seen as weak, stupid, or useless or selfish... a concern, any concern, always nails your foot to the floor.

In my programs it is mandatory that you learn to release that concern, otherwise you won"t be able to benefit from my programs. You will be stuck, and you"ll know it.

Some concerns are easy to see, even the stuck person can see it. Others... well, not so easy. And not so easy to get release.

Example: A fat woman may have fantasies of being raped, or being a whore, and she uses her fat to make sure she won"t act out her fantasies. That"s a concern that keeps her fat. The moment she lets go of the concern, she can lose all the extra weight.

I gained a lot of weight while I was living with a dude I hated to have sex with... And eventually I got fat enough the he didn"t want me any more, and we separated. Almost instantly I lost all the weight... but then the pattern repeated. The second time I knew what to do... and I left the situation, fat... lose the weight. See the pattern?

Life is full of patterns and unless you stay open to them with fuzzy eyes, they trap you.


If you are addicted to praise, for example, you"ll find it hard to produce anything, do the right thing, unless there is a chance to be praised for producing, etc. Unless you rid yourself of your concern, you"ll always entangle with people who should praise you... until they don"t... You see the pattern.

Your life, in the macro and in the micro, is governed by patterns, most of them not on the side of living a good life.

Your life is a machine. Some cycles are short and easier to see, others are long and slow... and harder to detect. And many hide in plain view: it takes looking to find them.

Spinning plates


Most people operate in a one-track way: spin one plate at work, another plate at home, and they are surprised that their lives, in spite of all they learn, is mundane, and impoverished.

I watch students drop all their plates, spiritual practices, their diet, energizing their water, exercising, when they start a new course. As if they were going to put all their energies into that one course... but no course is that involved... but they never pick up the plates and start spinning them again.

Why? Because unless they have an EXISTENCE SYSTEM beyond the mind, because unless these plates, habits, activities exist on a paper, they disappear.

About a year ago I started two guys on an "accountability" experiment. As long as they did it, and I kept my attention on them, they were both thriving.

The moment the accountability partnership ended, both dropped all the plates, and returned to the one track pony state: vibration dropped, cone of vising narrowed, results stopped coming.

Without someone holding you accountable for doing what is not necessary, not survival based, not urgent, you won"t do it.


Let me add: I won"t do it either.

It"s not that you are not willing. It simply disappears.
Unless you consciously direct your attention at something, your attention will be hijacked by something that is moving, flashy, painful, or fun. Like social media, like some argument you didn"t win, or your other concerns.

I even see this on the dude I learned this from: he got married and he dropped several plates. Marriage, relationships are new pattern makers where you have absolutely no input, no control: and the other person is rarely interested in you being all you can be... they are interested in themselves, in what they want. And rare is the person who can see and appreciate anything or anyone other than what they want.

Instead of resenting them for it, your job is to provide yourself with what you need so you can keep growing.


Getting an accountability partner, someone who won"t chat, or use up your time, instead: someone who keeps you to your promises.

Instead of being a victim of your inability to keep all patterns in mind, use the power of "existence"... The mind is a dark dunk place, bad neighborhood.

Start adding, one by one, habits, practices, that you can keep on spinning with the help of your existence partner.

If you want, use my already available forums. I"ll set up a thread for you, and you can do your daily promising and checking there.

How does this work? You pair up. And you, daily, make a promise and then report back to your partner: I did it, i didn"t do it.

Process, not results. Reporting back: "I only did half of it," is disheartening. Instead, report: I did it for 20 minutes. And then do whatever you do, until it is done. Reading, learning, meditating, practicing, doing everything.

Using the Pomodoro technique is smart if you have a hard time starting, if you are a procrastinator.

The Pomodoro technique is to do something for 20-25 minutes, set by a timer, and then take a 5-10 minute break. Then do the same thing again, i.e. continue, or do something else for 20-25 minutes.

Want to take me up on my offer to host your conversations? Email me...

PS: I just had a Days of Power call... and taught some good stuff (I think) on the call... I"ll post the call on the front page of my subscribers" site, so check for it in a little bit.

One of the things I explain, better than I did it in this article, is how and why to pay attention to the process instead of the result you want.

And I am also touching on how to do the existence system well with another person, and if it doesn"t work why it wouldn"t.

I seem to talk a little fast and sloppy on the call... and overtalk... meaning talk over other people... hey, I apologize for that... Overstimulated by the energy... very strong. oooh. I am a little hyper... it will go.

http://evp-50116959de4b9-dd521b5ed563ee25508422182c681a30.s3.amazonaws.com/20190321.mp4

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Vocabulary... Is it any word that added increases your vocabulary?

I have written about increasing your vocabulary, I have said it in coaching calls, I have been asking people to do what it takes, and the answer is... nothing. ((Read this other article to see some of what I am talking about when I talk about vocabulary and languagese))

One possible reason is that you don"t know what I mean.

I have two students, one of them ex... :-( who, while reading books, wrote down words with their meanings, and learned them like a second language.

I, myself, look up every word on my kindle when I read, I not, and then promptly forget the word. I have to look it up again the next time it comes up. And yet, I "sport" an ever growing vocabulary, that has gone from 1000 in 2011 to 5000 nowadays.

Makes no sense, does it? If I don"t learn new vocabulary words, then what do I do?So what the heck do I mean by vocabulary when I measure it in your Starting Point Measurements, when I harp on it, when I know nearly everything about you by that one number? Damn it... lol

By vocabulary I mean distinction words.

Hot, cold, sad, stumped, breathe, stupefied, pretend, lie, hide, feel slighted...

Reality words. Words that help navigate in the world. Words on mood, tastes, textures, reactions, feelings, positions, intentions, what Roy H. Williams calls the 12 languages of the mind.

He says in this week"s Monday Morning memo: Perception: a conscious awareness of a sensation and interpretation of sensations.

Why is this important, and why is this one number gives me all I need to know about you?

Because the number of these words that you can use and interpret accurately will tell me how aware, how self-aware you are. How high your vibration is. How much you yourself occupy your "monitor". How much empathy you can have. How much you are able to know yourself, and how willing you may be to change, to learn, to be instructed: to grow.

You live in an impoverished world by having an impoverished vocabulary.

In the cave of the mind where everything looks the same as everything else, except that not always, these words don"t make sense because they connect to concepts, not reality. So you don"t learn them, because you don"t experience them.

For you everything is anxiety, or depression, or pissed... no shades, no pinpointing.

I started my journey with the 38 Bach Flower feelings, attitudes, states...

Actually, I started with just one flower, Holly. Hard hearted.

My chiropractor recommended that I take it.

I had to find that hard heartedness (holly energy) in me. It devastated me to no end. That is not who I wanted to be, but feelings hurt, and I didn"t want to feel. It took me quite a while to allow myself to feel and still be well.

I noticed, after some experimenting, that feelings that i don"t resist, come and go... that the issue was the resisting, not the feelings. What made feelings hurt is what I added to it: my "no".

Little by little, I was able to develop a "vocabulary" of feelings, attitudes, and resist less and less things, react to less and less things.

Last night I was downloading the Heaven on Earth, the 38 Bach Energies and the two I added to the bunch later, and it released all the resistance in my body, in my neck, in my spine, on my sacrum, etc.

It took me maybe four minutes, and I was asleep.

I teach this in the Energy and Healing meditations, the drills, the calisthenics, on my training site.

I have been spending more time there, because being on those calls, even though they are recorded calls, is like heaven on earth, like a cleansing shower, invigorating, freeing me up.

Four of these calls are paid, the rest are free.


50% of each moves need you to be connected to Source... this is why I don"t have it available for all to buy... but if you want to, you can.
For a limited time I"ll throw in the Heartconnection Meditations... to teach you to deal with fear powerfully, so it doesn"t stop you from becoming all you can become. normally $97

It also teaches you to step back when you find in the midst of a drama.

For a limited time, $40 for all of the calls.Get access to the paid energy and healing calls AND the heartconnection meditations

Vocabulary... Is it any word that added increases your vocabulary?

I have written about increasing your vocabulary, I have said it in coaching calls, I have been asking people to do what it takes, and the answer is... nothing. ((Read this other article to see some of what I am talking about when I talk about vocabulary and languagese))

One possible reason is that you don"t know what I mean.

I have two students, one of them ex... :-( who, while reading books, wrote down words with their meanings, and learned them like a second language.

I, myself, look up every word on my kindle when I read, I not, and then promptly forget the word. I have to look it up again the next time it comes up. And yet, I "sport" an ever growing vocabulary, that has gone from 1000 in 2011 to 5000 nowadays.

Makes no sense, does it? If I don"t learn new vocabulary words, then what do I do?So what the heck do I mean by vocabulary when I measure it in your Starting Point Measurements, when I harp on it, when I know nearly everything about you by that one number? Damn it... lol

By vocabulary I mean distinction words.

Hot, cold, sad, stumped, breathe, stupefied, pretend, lie, hide, feel slighted...

Reality words. Words that help navigate in the world. Words on mood, tastes, textures, reactions, feelings, positions, intentions, what Roy H. Williams calls the 12 languages of the mind.

He says in this week"s Monday Morning memo: Perception: a conscious awareness of a sensation and interpretation of sensations.

Why is this important, and why is this one number gives me all I need to know about you?

Because the number of these words that you can use and interpret accurately will tell me how aware, how self-aware you are. How high your vibration is. How much you yourself occupy your "monitor". How much empathy you can have. How much you are able to know yourself, and how willing you may be to change, to learn, to be instructed: to grow.

You live in an impoverished world by having an impoverished vocabulary.

In the cave of the mind where everything looks the same as everything else, except that not always, these words don"t make sense because they connect to concepts, not reality. So you don"t learn them, because you don"t experience them.

For you everything is anxiety, or depression, or pissed... no shades, no pinpointing.

I started my journey with the 38 Bach Flower feelings, attitudes, states...

Actually, I started with just one flower, Holly. Hard hearted.

My chiropractor recommended that I take it.

I had to find that hard heartedness (holly energy) in me. It devastated me to no end. That is not who I wanted to be, but feelings hurt, and I didn"t want to feel. It took me quite a while to allow myself to feel and still be well.

I noticed, after some experimenting, that feelings that i don"t resist, come and go... that the issue was the resisting, not the feelings. What made feelings hurt is what I added to it: my "no".

Little by little, I was able to develop a "vocabulary" of feelings, attitudes, and resist less and less things, react to less and less things.

Last night I was downloading the Heaven on Earth, the 38 Bach Energies and the two I added to the bunch later, and it released all the resistance in my body, in my neck, in my spine, on my sacrum, etc.

It took me maybe four minutes, and I was asleep.

I teach this in the Energy and Healing meditations, the drills, the calisthenics, on my training site.

I have been spending more time there, because being on those calls, even though they are recorded calls, is like heaven on earth, like a cleansing shower, invigorating, freeing me up.

Four of these calls are paid, the rest are free.


50% of each moves need you to be connected to Source... this is why I don"t have it available for all to buy... but if you want to, you can.
For a limited time I"ll throw in the Heartconnection Meditations... to teach you to deal with fear powerfully, so it doesn"t stop you from becoming all you can become. normally $97

It also teaches you to step back when you find in the midst of a drama.

For a limited time, $40 for all of the calls.Get access to the paid energy and healing calls AND the heartconnection meditations

12 Ways to Communicate by Roy H Williams

Every form of communication is composed of 12 basic ideas and each of these ideas, held singularly, is a separate channel of communication in the mind.

Like a jet lifting off the runway, these 12 concepts will accelerate and elevate your creative expression: speaking, writing, drawing, painting, persuading, acting, photography, sculpting, selling, singing, landscaping, interior decorating, inventing, filmmaking, engineering, and making music.

If I left out your favorite form of expression, just add it to the bottom of the list as you point the nose of your jet toward the sky.

Everything can be explained using these 12 languages of the mind, and each of the 12 can be expounded and expanded by the others.

Let us begin by defining a couple of terms.
Perception: a conscious awareness of a sensation and interpretation of sensations.
Communication: a successful transfer of perceptions to another person.

The impact of your communication is determined by your mastery of these 12 languages:

1. Numbers are a language of the mind.
Math is easier to learn when you think of it as a language. There are things that can be communicated in the language of numbers that can be said in no other language.

2. Color is a language of the mind.
Look at a color wheel. Pink and burgundy agree with red, but that entire family of color is contradicted by green. Add white to a color and you get a tint. Add black and you get a shade. Add grey and you get a tone. Colors, tints, shades, and tones communicate moods and attitudes. Color can be saturated to intensify – or desaturated to drain – a feeling.

3. Phonemes are a language of the mind.
Every spoken language is made of a specific number of sounds, and alphabets are constructed to represent those sounds. English is composed of 44 phonemes. The vowels of a language are its musical notes.1 The “stops” in English are the sounds represented by p, b, d, t, k, g. (Make those sounds in your mind; not the names of the letters, but the sounds the letters represent.) There are also labial, dental, fricative, and palatal phonemes. Obstruent phonemes give words a hard-edged, angular feel, like “taketa.” Sonorant phonemes give words a softer, feminine feel, like “naluma.”

4. Radiance is a language of the mind.
Outward radiance is energy expanding. Inward radiance is energy contracting. Hot and cold. Love and indifference. Dark and light. Dim light and shadows are sonorant. Bright light is obstruent. Likewise, pianissimo-soft is sonorant. Forte-loud is obstruent.

5. Shape is a language of the mind.
Angles are the obstruent phonemes of shape. Curves are sonorant.

6. Proximity is a language of the mind.
It speaks of the relationship of one thing to another. Large and small. Here and there. Left and right. Up and down. High and low. Near and far. Ahead or behind. Backward or forward. Absent or present. Complete or incomplete. Perspective, or angle of view, is another expression of proximity. Brother, sister, father, mother, cousin, co-worker and boss are words that describe relationship, a proximity measured in a “distance” that cannot be expressed in inches, feet, or miles.2

7. Motion is a language of the mind.
Fast and slow. Curved or angular (shapes of motion). Coming or going (proximity of motion.)

8. Taste is a language of the mind.
As a biological tool for identifying chemicals dissolved in liquids, the perceptions of the tongue give us a vocabulary that can easily be assigned to non-chemical perceptions, allowing flavor to be used as a metaphor for a wondrous number of other things. “She is a sweet girl, but her father is a bitter old man.”

9. Smell is a language of the mind.
Smell is a tool for identifying chemicals dissolved in air, so the perceptions of the nose provide us with another vocabulary that can easily be assigned to non-chemical perceptions. “The judge"s ruling in that case stinks like 9 day-old fish.”

10. Feel is a language of the mind.
Rough and smooth. Dry and wet. Painful and pleasant. Relaxed and tense. Outstretched and cramped. Extended and contracted. The words that describe skin and muscular sensations – pain, pressure, position, movement, and temperature – can be used to describe emotional states as well. Or anything else you want to aim them at.

11. Symbol is a language of the mind.
Symbols have specific meanings. Facial expressions and body language are symbols. A stop sign is a symbol. An exclamation point is a symbol. A smiley face is a symbol. Each letter of the alphabet is a symbol for a phoneme. And every ritual – communion, baptism, the dubbing of a knight by the king – is a symbol combined with motion, another language of the mind.

12. Music is a language of the mind.
Music is any sound that carries meaning. The sound of a jet. A dog"s bark. A slither in the grass. A baby"s cry. What we typically think of as music is composed of 1. Pitch (proximity: high and low), 2. Key (shape of sound), 3. Tempo (speed of motion), 4. Rhythm (shape of motion), 5. Musical Interval (proximity: near and far, how wide are the gaps between notes?), and 6. Musical Contour (shape of the melody line). The volume of music is an expression of its radiance. This is an example of what I meant when I said, “each of the 12 can be expounded and expanded by the others.”

Perception is deepened when two or more languages agree, creating concept reinforcement. (Such as dim light combined with slow music in a minor key.) But too much agreement creates a cliche.

Attention is elevated when a language disagrees and contradicts another, creating an interesting anomaly. (Such as a spotted cow that is hot pink and lime green) But too much disagreement creates confusion. (By the way, did you notice how “pink” was modified by radiance – hot – and “green” was modified by the symbol of a lime?) 3

Today"s introduction to the 12 languages of the mind was not meant to be exhaustive or comprehensive. It was merely the cracking open of the door to a forgotten room, an invitation to explore an undiscovered country, a glimpse at the gleaming gold molars of a yawning dawn.

Wasn"t that a colorful way to say, “the beginning of a brand new day?”

Just playing.

Roy H. Williams

PS – “The 12 Languages of The Mind” is a pet theory of mine. Consequently, you won"t be able to find any additional information about this concept online, although you will be able to confirm everything I"ve shared about the 12 languages if you investigate each of them singularly. NOTE: “obstruent” and “sonorant” are technically associated only with phonemes, but I took the liberty of applying these descriptions to other channels of communication. – RHW

1 According to Duke University"s Deborah Ross, musical intervals reflect the sounds of our own speech, and are hidden in the vowels we use. Musical scales ‘sound right" because they match the frequency ratios that our brains are primed to detect. Her research indicated that this phenomenon is not limited to the English language. The musical scale of China is a reflection of the vowels in Mandarin. Ever wonder about the musical scale of India?

2 When proximity describes a non-spatial reality, such as a philosophical, emotional or perceptual reality, it"s called “shadow proximity.” Likewise, in #4, love and indifference are examples of “shadow radiance,” and in #8, “sweet” girl and “bitter” old man are examples of “shadow taste.” And in #9, a judge"s ruling that “stinks” like 9 day-old fish is an example of “shadow smell.” Optimism and pessimism are additional examples of “shadow radiance.” Does it surprise you that we use the words of objective, physical reality to explain subjective, perceptual reality? Each of the 12 languages has a shadow.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Why unconditional "love" is damaging, and why setting conditions is healthy... even loving?

My new 20-day skill learning challenge is to listen and internalize 20 videos by Hungarian, now dead, psychologist, Peter Popper.

Why am I doing this challenge? What will this give me?


I am self-taught... or more precisely: I have an education that is hodge podge, eclectic: I gathered knowledge from all over the place, and I have gaping holes, that until this day I had no idea where to fill or how.

The gaping holes are so big, that some of my students could slip through: Whatever I knew didn"t help them to become all they can become.

With that said, I listened to a Dr. Popper masterclass on youtube, sadly, it is in Hungarian, with subtitles that you need to set to your own language...

Dr Popper"s masterclasses, a whole lot of them, have 60% truth value, 30% of what he says fills in my gaping holes.Popper is talking about something very important. He says that we are all born totally self-centered, self-referential, and are that way through most of our childhood.

He also says that at certain point, the mother who was fully and wholly a problem solver for us, suddenly turns around and causes bad feelings to us by saying "don"t do this and don"t do that"... very unpleasant.

And then he talks about the moral rules we hear, and we think that adults, especially our parents, must be an example... and one day we discover that they say one thing and do another, lie, encourage us to lie, they steal, cheat, don"t do what they said they would do, etc.

It is very confusing. It"s incongruent with what we were taught.

The empath curse


And if the child is an empath, the parent"s behavior and words are incongruent in myriads of other ways... Like the double bind...

Knowing what is good and what is bad, knowing the rules is one thing. Internalizing them in another: in that stage, when you internalize the rules, make them your own, you become a moral being. They are no longer imposed on you.

But for empaths, this is harder than for non-empaths: I think this is why I was called "amoral" as a child: I did not internalize the moral code, because of all the incongruence between people"s behavior and their words.

I had to create my own moral code, and internalize that.


I have empath students as amoral, as bumbling, as confused as I was, looking for rules to live by, but finding that it"s not that simple... Their "matzpun", their compass, their conscience isn"t working. ((The compass, the conscience, when the moral laws have been internalized, expresses itself in feelings, a pressure here, a push there... kinesthetically. The empath child wants to avoid the world of feelings where they have been hurt and confused, and move towards brainy stuff... So an empath child has only brainy guidance, mind stuff, that doesn"t care that everything and the opposite is called right... Ugh. difficult.))

They don"t know how to meet their own expectations of themselves, because they don"t have a coherent congruent self-image. They don"t have their mental representation for how to be an honorable, lovable, productive human being.

And, of course I wasn"t quite aware of what I did, or what process I had gone through, so until today I could not see what I didn"t see.

I knew, deep inside, that there was some reason I kept these "unteachable" students around, in spite of all the frustration I experienced. I was, in fact, fueled by their stuckedness, nudged on and on, to learn more, think more, so I can move them.

Here is a little 3-minute segment of a Popper talk, with English subtitles, to give you a flavor of how 60% truth value sounds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTkIfFMvdjk

Obviously, Popper is a trained and practicing psychologist, and I am... eh, an architect? So he has been reading, seeing, understanding, and experiencing stuff that is very useful for my purposes.

And yet, but yet? we seem to look in the same place to evaluate if the "stuff" is useful or not. Where the stuff comes from, and where it takes you.

It is the most exciting thing to learn from someone whose roots, whose world view, whose moral convictions are similar to yours. Because you are validated while you are learning new things: no arguments, no resistance, no fear... I experience being OK.

Priceless. Even though he is twice, three times bigger than me, I don"t experience being small. Or big. I experience gratitude. I cry tears of joy. Love, whatever that is...

Most of my students are non-readers


How do I know? From the language they use. Impoverished. Reading articles make you a non-reader. Writing articles maybe doubly so. ((I measure your vocabulary, accurate vocabulary, distinguishing words, in my Starting Point Measurements.))

It is as if they thought that they can be artists and use five colors only to paint the Mona Lisa.

The only place to learn words, expression, is by reading. Reading in a particular way.

What is that particular way? you ask. By allowing the words modify you, influence you, move you, and observe it. From the inside, from the outside.

When your language is impoverished, your world is impoverished, because your experience is impoverished.

Most of my health consultation clients eat fast and without any distinctions. They shovel the food in, without giving themselves any time to experience. Of course, you can only experience what has been distinguished, which is largely what experience has been named. By you.

That means words. If you don"t have words for something, language for something, you cannot experience it.

Reading to get through the book, reading for understanding, reading to check it off your list leaves you impoverished both in experience and in language.

In the Playground program one of the tasks, the backbone of the program, is to look at a story, a happening, in the present, or in the past... and glean out of the story what is real. Reality.

But if what you glean, the reality, can be expressed in a few basic words, then the program won"t do its job on you, and your stories, because the contrast between your strong emotions and the reality will be too big.

One of the techniques a practitioner used on me is to take me back to a defining experience in my life, and made me expand my cone of visions to include all the colors, sounds, smells, tactile sensation, so the reality could stand there and hold its own, in the face of the traumatic emotions.

Also Dianetics has a method, called Analysis, and a book called Self-Analysis, that is designed to expand the reality inside which you had a trauma, a disappointment, a hurt.

I have bought a few copies of the book that is sold for a few dollars, including shipping.

I was planning to use it in the series: Feel your Feelings that lead to the course From Upset to Communication.

As I am listening to the partner calls, I am saddened by the reality that your life experience cannot be bigger than your feelings/perception vocabulary.

Imagine living in a country where you only know 200-300 words, and can"t even follow most conversations, because even the simplest conversations use more the 200-300 words.

Understanding, approximately, is not the same as experiencing it... and that "it" can stand for anything.

To experience something you need to be able to actively name the experience, the words.

When you read with an agenda, even if the agenda is to learn something from the book, you end up not enjoying the book, hoping to get to the end of it, as if you were hoping to get to the end of life, this two-bit existence you are living.

Your life is as rich as the things you can say. Not understand, but say. What you can"t say, you can"t even really notice, unless someone points it out to you.

You don"t want to spend time alone, having nothing to do, because your life is empty when there is nothing to do. Why empty? Because you are empty. Your fullness comes from the distinctions, the experiences, the perceptions, the richness of life.

You are terrified from the empty silence when you don"t have to do anything. You run from it... to anything.

Start to expand your vocabulary, words and sensations, and you will love to be with yourself. You will be good company.

Until then? You are, forgive me for saying this, you are boring.

Savor, chew on, ponder, contemplate. Learn the vocabulary. Let me say it again: anything you cannot express is invisible to you...

PS: I just noticed that I let that title just hang there... like a bait... and never elaborated on it.

I have been wondering why it was that in the early days of my teaching, the early days of this site, my students loved me, and today they don"t... or not really.

Yesterday, listening to Dr. Popper, I heard that when you give a child the experience that your love is unconditional, and there are no conditions that prompt you to take away that love, they will not develop properly, and more importantly, they won"t fear losing that love.

In the early days I let people go. I ejected them from a webinar, I threw them out of a course. In effect I set boundaries, and made clear that the love is not automatic.

So they clung, clawed, tried real hard. While today there is no threat of loss, so there is no value to that love.

Live and learn. Hard learning.

This is true for everything, not just love.

When in 1987, volunteering in Landmark Education, my manager said: you are fired, I suddenly, on the spot, fell in love with the job. I answered, in my head, "You can"t fire me from MY job. you can fire me from YOUR job... but not from mine..." so I continued doing the job. She fired me again and again, and every time I put more love into the job, and in the end I accomplished the impossible. In the job. A heroic result.

Without her firing me, I would have fizzled out.

One of my students, a university student, had an essay to write. He missed the deadline... and asked for an extension, and then another and another. He handed in his essay later than late.

No consequences. He was "educated", trained to do little to no work, and still pass, still stay in the course.

My guess is that this has been his life: he never got the stick end of the "carrot and stick" and he is now confused, and lost... No boundaries make for an unhappy person. Guaranteed.

Monday, March 18, 2019

From Que Sera Sera, a meandering path to no regrets

I left Hungary 37 years ago. And yet, when I hum, half of the songs are Hungarian, from before I left there.

I trust that when a song pops into my head, it is some kind of guidance. So when the song that was somehow related to the Counter-revolution in 1956, Que sera sera sung in Hungarian, when that song popped into my mind, I said to myself: pay attention. What is it saying?

I was nine years old at the time, and I was puzzled why the song would be put on the black list... I still can"t see why.

I am doing a little research on google.

The Future: What We Create Today Lets You Create the Future, says one site.

Somewhere else:
Pop lyrics are frequently rich with helpful, everyday philosophy and generally mindful perspectives (apart from ‘Rockstar’ by Nickel back, obvs). The Beatles sang ‘Let It Be’; Van Morrison reminded us that there’d be ‘Days Like This’; Doris Day pointed out that ‘Que Sera Sera’ and even Kelly Clarkson encouraged endurance and resilience in ‘Stronger’. To Each His Own belongs to and genuinely adds to that self-therapeutic canon. You should be able to listen to it as bloody good noise and feel it as a sonic salve. Its lyrics also ought to help you relocate your happy place

Now, why did this song pop up for me? And in Hungarian, nonetheless. There is a link in the Hungarian words, that is not in the original:

  • the mother says: be humble like me, be content.

  • And a different word in another line: shall I be rich in the English, shall I be happy in the Hungarian... big big big difference.


Hungarian people are still happier than Americans.

But let"s look at the "be humble" line... why would humility allow the future to come, or be content now?


In my "concern" article I talk about concern being like a nail that attaches your foot to the floor, limiting your options in life to dancing around the concern.

  • Being concerned about the future relegates you to doing nothing about it.

  • Being discontented with the present moves you to do crazy hasty "fixing" type actions, that actually make the future predictably horrible.


But what about humility... right? Where does humility come in?

I am wrecking my brain, I am looking, and finally it dawns on me.

The only thing you can really have some control about in the future is yourself.


Investing in yourself, learning skills, getting good at them, becoming all you can be.

And if you look, unless you are reasonably humble, you won"t be able to.

I first learned about humility in the training segment of a course. It said: if you want to be trained, you better declare yourself incompetent in the topic of the training.

Remember, the phases of becoming competent are

  1. unconsciously incompetent

  2. consciously incompetent

  3. consciously competent

  4. unconsciously competent


To one degree or another you are unconsciously incompetent in many things, in fact most things.

There is nothing wrong with it... you can"t know everything.

But when you fancy yourself competent when you are not, that stops being trained, getting trained, learning anything impossible.

Unless you know that you are supposed to be incompetent in order to learn, you don"t like experiencing your incompetence.


In the 20-day skill building challenge a lot of the participants took on something physical to learn, play the ukulele, learn touch typing, for example.

  • When what you are learning is physical, you"ll get conscious of your incompetence, and that, unless it stops you, will guide you to competence.

  • On the other hand, if you took on something more mental, like learning to share, or learning to write a thesis, you may go down the rabbit hole, thinking you are on the right track, while you are completely far... thinking you are in New York, while you are digging in Africa.


Arrogance, a concern to be considered brilliant, has your foot nailed to the floor.


Hurry


It"s Sunday, so I read more. I watched a Hungarian psychologist do a master course. He talked about people"s obsession to hurry, to fix things, to change things, to get to places, to never stop and ponder, the read to get through a book.

People"s unwillingness to become first, do second. To trust life. To have faith.

This lecture is the first thing, other than Hungarian poetry, that made me "home" sick.

Watching the faces and body language of the audience, makes me think again. Maybe there is no "home" for me.

And, OK, it is Sunday, so I watched a few movies" trailers, among them the movie"s Rain Fall, because my new favorite books to read are by Barry Eisler.

And for the first time in 34 years, I found an American who speaks and writes proper English grammar that i don"t have to correct in my head... This whole week has been a week of firsts for me.

So I listened to his TED talk. And in the second part of that otherwise nothing special TED talk, Barry Eisler said something profound: your future self can guide you if you just listen keenly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clWa6xJFMCo

If, instead of being guided by desire (desire trap, yearning, longing) you allow fear to guide you, the fear that your future self will be disappointed, that it will be your fault the you didn"t do now what you needed to do to have what you wanted to have in the future, you will be guided right.

The worst thing, in my humble opinion and his, is to have regrets. You may already have some regrets, I know I do, but I won"t have any more. I have learned my lesson, finally, and I am now guided by that future self that doesn"t want to have regrets. That future self that wants me to do the things today, the things I need to do to have what i want in the future.

So what do I want?


I am in partnership with Source. And Source wants a methodology to redirect human evolution towards a humanity that can respect themselves, that can treat the Earth well, and can live in peace.

It is unlikely that I can see the fruits of that, but I can do the work. And my future self wants nothing more than that: do as much of that work that can be done in a human lifetime.

I am 71 years old now. My mother died when she was 75, my father when he was 79 years old. The previous generation, their parents died in the Holocaust. So I don"t know what is my genetic life expectancy.

I only know that I don"t want to die with regrets. So I do what I need to do every day, even on Sundays, to get done what I need to get done to create a tested blueprint for what Source asked me to do: the new humanity.

My Playground program is the current favorite. Because it is so interactive, I can almost instantly see what works, what doesn"t work for some, and I can always look for techniques, knowledge that may unstuck those that can"t move. Fascinating work. A delightful mixture of frustration and joy.

As long as I do today what I need to do today, I won"t have regrets in the future. And that is why I can be happy... today.


I have had students who quit because the desired future didn"t come fast enough, and today they don"t do anything that would create that desired future.

And, of course, I have active students, who have never done anything to bring that future about.

You cannot be happy today if your future self will be disappointed in you.


This was a long article... taking you on a meandering path, from the Que Sera Sera passive relationship to the future, to the active relationship to the future, where it is up to you.

It is YOUR life... What are you going to do about it?

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Invisible dynamic: the concern, having your foot nailed to the floor

Do you get fixated on what"s wrong with you? With what"s wrong with the world? With what you want? With what should be?

Fixate or abdicate is the "normal" binary behavior. Neither behavior serves you... it serves the machine.

I woke up this morning with a start. I had a nightmare.

I was in some exam situation where I was slowly losing my ability to grasp anything. I could not follow the instructions, and then in a lecture I didn"t understand a word the instructor, a woman with a southern accent said.

Everybody laughed, she must have been funny, but I could not make more than a word here and there.

I cried. I cried to the instructor after the lecture, if that is what it was.

After I got up, I started to think how I would solve this problem in real life. It is actually true about me that I have difficulties with accent, that I have difficulties with fuzzy audio...

Then I sat down to work, and looked at my site, and it started to dawn on me that this was a "teaching/guidance" dream: I am leaving people in the dust.

My last two articles have been written on the PhD level speaking to readers who are, at best, on the graduate school level listening.

The second part of the teaching, and it may be even more important, is this:

In the nightmare I started to get incoherent when the difficulties to understand began, and by the end I was devastated.


I was still incoherent when I clicked a button on the back office of my site, and the maintenance activity it brought on lasted many many many minutes, worryingly long.

Aha, I am being taught something here... because I started to feel the devastation, the worry, the anxiety coming back.

I was expecting a big fat tragedy to come, just like in the dream... but this time I said... calm down, we"ll deal with this when we get to it. I started to play Freecell, and paid attention to the game, instead of the site, which was still "hanging".

I paid attention to my breathing, my heart rate, my thinking... and then the site came back on, and all was well.

There are two brain states that also can be seen in the eyes: focused and fuzzy/diffused. I call it fuzzy, because I control it with the eyes...

Both fixation and abdication happen in the focused state


Fixation is saying "no" to everything other than the center of the focus, abdication is saying "no" to the center of the focus. In my nightmare the center of the focus: I don"t understand... I will fail this exam. Or maybe: I must be stupid. Or maybe: everybody is smarter than me. Or maybe: I am left out in the cold. You pick the one you like, the most frightening one.

Both fixation and abdication deal with what"s wrong. With what is not working. With what is blocking your intention. With what needs fixing but cannot be fixed.

If your brain is mostly in the focused state, you are an underachiever. Almost would be willing to bet the farm on that.


Why? Because in order to escape the miserable mental and emotional state of "something wrong", you almost certainly will put your attention on something equally unproductive, like watching TV, playing computer games, eating, or drinking.

And that is the condition most people live in, most of the time.

But life, the life that is not so gosh darn miserable, happens outside of your narrow focus.


I remember when I first saw the trees and the sky almost a year and a half after I arrived to the US.

It was the day after a four-day transformational course. A course that did one thing for me, in essence, it unstuck me from the focused mode.

One could simplify this phenomenon by saying: you have a concern.

What is a concern? According to the dictionary, you can be concerned for something, i.e. treat it as something that has a big importance to you (like feeling smart), or you can be concerned about something, i.e. worry you, cause you anxiety (like not being good enough).

As you can see, with the first you are going to fixate, and with the second you will want to abdicate.


I wanted my site to start working again, so I started to fixate on that... and wanted to avoid it crashing, I started to abdicate that... Why abdicate? Because if the site crashed it would mean that I am really stupid...

When you have a concern, nothing else has any weight for you, any importance for you, any validity for you.

You are stuck in the tiny issue, and consequently tiny cone of vision... as if you had your foot nailed to the floor. You can dance around it, but you cannot leave it.

In the 12 step programs, with alcoholics, or other addicts, the creators of the program realized it.

Addiction is like a concern: drinking or not drinking, for example.

So they say: Let go, let god... and at least some of the time, for some people, that pulls the nail from the foot, and they can let go... unless, like some of my students, they only let go long enough to jump on another concern, like playing computer games, or pondering some philosophical issue that won"t matter at all...

So how do you open up your cone of vision?


Clinical psychologists have a technique: they ask you to rotate your head slowly from right to left and then left to right, and see everything in the room. Make your eyes look outward.

It works some of the time... but if your brain is really stuck on something, it is not enough.

You actually need to take your attention with your eyes... and park it on what you see, the objects, and attempt to refocus on them. One after the other... as long as it takes. You"ll know if the attention is still inward, or if you managed to bring it outward.

Eventually the nail will come out of your foot, and you will be able to be present, in that room, and even breathe...

This could be called a spiritual practice...


The first step is to get present, to feel that your focus is stuck. Your eyes will tell you: when you want to move your focus, your eyes will be stuck on what they were staring at... What it was is not relevant, the "mind"s eyes" are looking inward, the eyes don"t really see what they are stuck on.

Noticing. Noticing that you are not breathing. Noticing the anxiety. Maybe even your muscles are hurting.

The second step is to decide to let it go. Let go, let god... and start looking around in the room. See if you can see what the eyes see, or if you are still stuck on the image in the mind.

The third step is to move the attention, move the focus, move conscious attention to some objects in the room, make sure consciousness is there. Do that until you feel the breath releasing with a deep sigh.

Continue until all the anxiety is gone.

Get up, drink some coherent water, before you return to the work you were doing, that set this whole thing off...

It takes practice, but you can learn it.

If this is what your life is like, take on this practice in the 20-day skill building challenge.

PS: In the Playground, especially in the Partner calls, we use a technique: distinguishing, to release the focus, to pull the nail in the foot.

In each partner call each of the two participants goes over one or more incidents of upset, concern, stuck self-image, life story, and take it apart, looking at all the parts. At least they are supposed to... But...

  • When one partner brings generosity, the focus gets released, and the misery disappears.

  • When one partner brings superiority: the partners are left in their misery.

  • When one partner brings: "let"s get through this" homework attitude, impatience, both are left in misery.


PPS: The upset process, another invisible dynamic, has the concern embedded. In an upset, the three concerns, the three causes of the bad feelings are

  • Thwarted intention

  • Unfulfilled Expectation

  • Undelivered Communication


A thwarted intention tells you that you had a concern for your intention to go through, for people to do what you wanted them to do. In common parlance, this is called frustration.

Can you figure out what the other two are a concern for or concern about? Share in the comments, or email me if you have some ideas. Thank you for that. The more you engage, the more you learn.

Learning the upset process is great... finding out how you block your growth is priceless... you can start by watching me train a group of students in a video


Let me watch to find out how I block my own growth, Please.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

You are always investing... Investing in things, investing in feelings, or investing in yourself

Some days I get a ton of offers for new marketing tools, and I get desirous... I want to buy, but then I ask Source: I muscle test if I should buy, and the answer is always "NO". ((The same thing is happening in food, in books to read, movies, videos to watch... by the way.))

So I have been pondering what guides Source... ((I call all-knowledge Source. But I could also say that my higher power, the one I am willing to obey and listen to: "whatever works" is what i am asking questions of.

I am not very concerned with truth... I am concerned with what works... In life, in reality, for most people.))

What investment is useful and for what? Is getting more visitors to my site useful? Not really, the return on investment is fragile... Having more visitors to my site won"t forward my work, more visitors may put some pocket change in my pocket, but are they really interested in what I teach? Not that I can see...

Every minute of every day, every choice, ask the same question: is this for a temporary gain, or is this for a permanent gain. Is it for me, or is it for some circumstance I"d like?




Like me, you are always investing, but unlike me, you probably don"t ask the questions I ask.

You are always investing... Investing in things, investing in feelings, or investing in yourself.

Everything you choose to do can be considered an investment. All your habits. Some investments have high returns on the very short term, like feeling superior, or the glee over having avoided domination. Other investments have steady returns over a lifetime, grow you and your life.

Investing in you, in you becoming all you can become is what we do in my programs.


I call it "raising your vibration". Is that an accurate expression to what you are doing? Who is to argue? Is there such a thing in reality as vibration? Not at all. It is an agreement:
We"ll call the level you are at in becoming all you can be "vibration"... and the process, we"ll call "raising your vibration."

Raising your vibration, going from miserable to powerful is a process. A long process.

I experienced one of the most dramatic turnarounds when I learned about the three levels of values: systemic value, extrinsic value, and intrinsic value.

I learned that your intrinsic value, the value that is innate, is the same whether you are good or bad, whether you are useful or useless, whether you can speak one language, ten, or none at all.

It was the most horrible news to me. Sometimes the best news are the worst news, because of their connotations, their meaning about you.

Having intrinsic value and not ever seeing it, made me treat other people as if they had no intrinsic value.

I was treated that way, I think, all my life, so I didn"t even know there was such a thing. I was appreciated for what I did, not who I was, and no amount of doing compensates for not being valuable...

I was already over 50. And I never considered myself having any value, other than what I produced.

And therefore taking care of me wasn"t one of the things I did... In fact I never considered taking care of myself.

Or more precisely, I was never on my side, I was never FOR myself. In fact, had anyone asked, I would not have been able to say what that meant. How it would look. What I would do.


We all KNOW how to care for a baby... but do we really? We all take care of things more than we take care of people.

You take care of the bills: You pay them on time. You take care of your clothes... your car... your dog... but do you take care of yourself?

Well, you take the medication the doctor prescribed. But do YOU take care of yourself... or maybe even written this way: your Self? Or do you expect others to take care of you?

In the Playground, you learn how to take care of yourself... something you never learned, something wasn"t even suggested that you do by the "world".


And because everything needs someone to take care of it, you thought your parents, other people, the government will take care of you.

I am not sure if you are lucky if you never found out that they won"t take care of you.

They have their hands full of worrying about themselves. They don"t even see that you need being taken care of... Or they don"t care.

Recently I had... I must have had a breakthrough. Why do I say it this way?

Because breakthrough is not what you do, breakthrough is how reality responds.


My journey from hell to here had mileposts.

  • Finding the Hillel poem, the three questions, in a prayer book in a Jerusalem synagogue was the first. I didn"t understand, yet I knew that it was very significant... so I cried, and pondered.

  • Then finding out that everyone has intrinsic value, including myself was the second milepost... I started to see person in people... little by little.

  • And then my brother saying: "Take care of yourself". Maybe because it was about a certain, specific complaint, I could see, for the first time, what it is something I COULD do, even though I didn"t see it possible, and I even saw it distasteful... but I did it.

  • And then, the sudden insight in the Playground.


Everyone, just like I did, froze into a self/world attitude where they expected someone else to consider them, their feelings, their desires, their aspiration, them important and relevant.

I have written articles about caring, and I said: caring feels dangerous, because it feels that it is either not caring, or giving up about yourself and giving everything to another.

Said in another way: it awakens the age old dilemma: it is either you or me...

In the context of taking CARE, or care about you... it feels, it really feels that you cannot care about another person, without giving up caring about yourself.

So people don"t care. They give lip service to caring, they say they are very caring, but it is a lie.



  • Mother Theresa didn"t care

  • Bill Gates doesn"t care

  • your mother didn"t care.


Caring is somewhat counter to, against life as we know it... life that is based on the selfish gene that cares about keeping you alive and urging you to procreate. It, the selfish gene, only cares about its own survival, its own immortality.

But as Hillel said, 2500 or so years ago: you can CARE about and for yourself, and the selfish gene will even love it. LOVE IT!

So you can give yourself what you need, whether it is attention, love, tender loving care, encouragement, forgiveness, compassion, courage, support, knowledge, whatever you need.


It will "kill" the racket you have been running since you were a wee lad or a wee gal.

The racket that uses this "nobody cares" as a justification for being nasty, sad, depressed, lazy, an underachiever, a domineering know it all... etc.

In the Playground we look at stories from your life. Past stories, present stories.

They all stem from the fact that you don"t take care of your needs. All.

Nobody ever does anything to you... or only in unreality. In reality people do things, but the part where they are doing it to you is an interpretation.


They did it to me... they are doing it to me... is only a seeming. It seems that way, listen up! if your entire cone of vision, if your entire personal reality centers around you.

I measure the "about-me" score in the Starting Point Measurements, because it will tell ME to what degree you play the victim, to what degree you"ll conduct your life to make people do to you, for you, and then blame them for it.

This is also the same degree that people run rackets, and not take care of life, of themselves, the same degree they point at this or that circumstance that did it to them.

If you are someone, for example, who is very interested in personality tests, or numerology, like the big book by Dan Millman, "the life you were meant to live", then I don"t even have to do the measurements.

Why? Because I can be sure that you"ll blame your character flaws, your personality for your failings.

The number one capacity that is needed for a life that has power in it, is the capacity to take responsibility for what belongs to you.


The moment you do, truly, life turns around. If it doesn"t... then you just gave lip service to responsibility.

Because the Hillel verse, "If I am not for me, who is for me? If not now, when? If I am only for me, who am I?" calls for responsibility.

Your about-me score doesn"t allow you to see that you are causing. Your about-me score make you appear as a hapless victim.

And you can"t see that you could be responsible, and that life could start becoming your life, a life you can mold and shape and direct... instead of the life that is happening to you.

What a difference...

So the question to ask: how do you lower your about-me score?


I don"t have a simple, do it yourself method for you.

My flagship course, the Playground, is perfect for that. Because it confronts your narrow cone of vision that only sees one aspect of life, what is about you. Your superiority, mainly. And forces you to notice that there is beauty, heroism, humanity, etc. outside of that narrow concern... and it could be yours.

I confess, I had to go through that same thing.

It took me long decades, because I didn"t have the Playground and all the confrontations available to me.

In the Playground, you are confronted at least once a week, for a whole year... And come out on the other end a person. Free and powerful.


It"s gradual. It"s a process. Almost unnoticeable, so slow.

I pair people up (partner calls) to bring out the worst in you, so you can confront it. And then I give you feedback every week.

Some people even opt for more than one partner call a week. Because it is where you find out to what degree you give away your power, to what degree you insist to be an effect. (Martyr Syndrome) Or be superior... the kind of superior that is unearned and that is your prison.

PS: If you read my last article about the cultures people hail from, who can"t, who won"t be willing for transformation... The main question is: how can I change that for an individual.

After I finished writing this article, the answer to that question, or at least one answer to that question surfaced: unless the future the person lives into changes, no change in behavior is possible or forthcoming.

The future is not fixed. It is not prescribed. It is not written in some book. You write the future with your actions every minute of every day.


That meme, that the future is set in stone, is part of some cultures, some religions, and if you were brought up that way: you can change your mindset any minute... and that is the most heroic and fundamental change you"ll need to make.

Some circumstances won"t change. If you have three children, then even after changing your mindset, you"ll have three children. But you can change how you look at the life you have, you can change what you see possible for yourself, and with that everything changes... even though you"ll still have three children.

If you can only think of changing where you live, what house you live in, for example, you probably have that nothing can change really... and transformation will be difficult for you.

That fixed future will come, inexorably, the future impossible to stop or prevent will loom darkly... even though there is no such thing as future... it is hypothetical... it is created every minute of every day... by YOU.
What future are you creating?

So far you"ve had two ways to be: to be Trump or the shoe shiner in this picture