NEW: Another really painful example of "unless." One Word That Should Never Follow "I Love You"

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It"s been very difficult for me to bring examples to the phenomenon "or-ness", in spite of the fact that it is all over. I was trying to define it, but it"s eluded me.

Here is an article I didn"t write. It is a beautiful illustration of the principle or how to replace "or" with "and" and give birth to a lot better, a lot more loving life than it was before. Really nicely done:

It started with "I love you, but ..."

It could have been "I love you, but you"re driving me crazy" or any of the following: "I love you, but you"re not listening to me"; "I love you, but stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink"; or "I love you, but I need some alone time." I"ve begun many a sentence with those four words, and never paused for a moment to think about what they mean. What are we actually conveying when we begin a sentence like that?

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