I love the analogy of the winding mountain pass where an unsuspecting motorist happens on a car wreck in the middle of the two-lane road.His options are to drive into the solid rock on the left, into the abyss on the right, into the wreck in the middle... or to slow down and drive around the wreck. Slowly.
My numbers show that 99.5% of them will not even consider slowing down and driving around the wreck. It doesn"t even occur to them as a possibility.
Because, obviously, testing people on winding mountain roads is not in my budget, I do the next best thing. People"s response to bad news.
This article is about the two main ways we deal with life. Where we put our efforts, where we put our attention... they both express our attitude quite precisely... and how can brain plasticity rescue you... from yourself.
When I click "send" the Starting Point Measurements, I admit, I don"t know what to expect.
I know what I have been getting, but the past is not a reliable predictor of the future.
- 90% of the people focus on what"s wrong with them, and they hate me.
- Another 9% also hate me, but they say I was wrong, that my measurements are wrong.
- And 1% are interested to find out what they can do with what they have.
About half of the 1% will be willing to do some work.
You could say: oh, you are testing if people are pessimistic or optimistic, but that would be a gross misunderstanding of what I am doing...
It"s April 5, and it"s snowing where I live. It fell about five inches of snow overnight, and more is coming.
I was looking at my attitude about the snow, and I had none. Then I looked at the squirrels and they seem to enjoy the challenge. I can feel it.
And then I tune into the feelings of neighbors, and they are resigned, angry, and worried.
Squirrels see the world differently than most humans. Becoming more like a squirrel is a function of brain plasticity, and it"s what I am attempting to teach in this article.
Humans seem to have a picture of how it should be, and when it isn"t that way, they lose their will to look for ways around the obstacles, lose their desire to live...
Some will pretend that they have nothing to go around, while they crash and burn...
One of the main difference between the three kinds of attitudes, the three kinds of approaches to life and difficulties is what questions people ask.
The 90% ask what questions? What"s wrong with me and answer it? The 9.5% ask: What"s wrong with Sophie and then answer it.
The Half percent asks different questions: What can i do to pull myself up by my bootstraps? of maybe Can you help me get around the bad stuff and strengthen the good stuff?
I don"t know if you can see it, but the 99.5% is reactive. When you react you have a passive relationship to life. You have something done to you... There is no you.
The half percent may feel the same way, but acts differently. There is a kernel of Self, a kernel of Them looking for the way up, through, and take some action.
The rest crashes... or waits for luck, fate, a guru to straighten their lives out.
I am one of the people who feels one way but acts another. I have never given up, if you judge by my actions.
I know people who talk positive, feel negative, and their actions talk resignation, hopelessness, and "it"s not worth it".It is rare that your speaking, your feelings, and your actions speak the same.
Your actions are determined by what you see. Your speaking, your feelings, your thoughts are not very relevant in this regard, they are just noise. Those come from the cave of your mind.
Lots of people talk a good talk, but if you have a chance to observe them, you find out what they see from their actions.
When I get stuck, I now know that I got stuck in a view of life. So if it is my view of life, then what needs to be unstuck is my view.
I learned that even therapists have a move where they ask the patient to slowly turn their heads to see the whole room, left to right and again right to left, without labeling things. Just allow the eyes to get impressed by everything NOT the obstacle they are stuck on.
When your neck turns to get your view unstuck YOU get unstuck.
Information reaching you through words, sounds, will not get you unstuck.
Some people, certain soul corrections, are more prone to getting stuck than others.
Using this innocent but powerful practice always works.
Most issues in creativity, life satisfaction, health, love, come from a stuck view of life.
It is not an accident that most creative people walk. When you walk AND allow yourself to see what you see as you walk, your stuckedness, your adhesion, loosens or disappears.
One of the practices I am attempting to employ is to come up with 10 ideas a day. Good, bad, indifferent, 10 ideas, and write them down. It is slow going...
That is 3650 ideas a year.
It is easier when I walk. It is easier when I allow myself to see different things... move the eyes.
I am both limbering my brain"s idea muscle, and making sure that I am unstuck.
Most of you are frozen into some grotesque position, between dutiful, slavish, and victim and entitled.
100% of humans. Even the very creative people, unless they do something with their eyes to keep on seeing different things, will get sluggish and stuck.
Your emotions also get stuck... maybe it is more precise to say your attitude gets stuck.
You can limber up your emotion/attitude muscle while you are at it.
But coming up with new ideas takes the prize: it is hard enough, and it"s impossible to stay stuck.
What should be the ideas about? Whatever...
Problem solving ideas have a special place because they give you a view of life where you are a value provider.
I was born with dyslexia. Dyslexia is a brain irregularity where the brain cells don"t quite grow where they are supposed to.
When I was little, there was no such thing, so I was just weird, and stupid, and hapless... according to my parents.
I came up with lots of ideas on how to be able to do things, read, tell left from right, read the right numbers, notice when there is a mixup or reversal of left and right... find my way in the maze of streets, remember how things, how people, how trees, houses, signs of buildings looked so I can find my way wherever, and not be hopelessly lost.
I tell you, it wasn"t easy. It isn"t easy to see.
When I delivered magazines in a previous business, I got lost more often than I care to remember. But I also saw more of the world.
It helped me grow my awareness. Awareness is another word for seeing.
Of course if you are one of the 99.5%, your attitude will be hopeless and resigned. But give it a spin. If you can start with just looking around without naming what you see (not as easy as it sounds!) then you may be able to unstuck your pitiful attitude, and be on your way to become a happier human. And a lot more successful.
Let me explain why you need to be looking at things without words. Words take you, words hijack you to the same old same old. To the cave of your mind, where you say you want to come out of, and breathe some fresh air.
It my take many attempts to forego words, but it"s worth it. If you remain in your mind, no change will happen. You will stay stuck.
As yourself if you care about yourself and your life. If you answer yes, then you are worth it.
Even just seconds of "being worth it" can cause a miracle... Just watch. You"ll be amazed.
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