The third brain... immersion: the secret to mastery of life and growth

There are, in my experience, three thinking brains, at least potentially, in every human...

The first thinking brain, the mind, that is in cahoots, in collusion, working against you with the selfish gene. That is what creates a life of reactivity, full of fear, full of anxiety, full of sharp turns and devastating jerks. I"ve lived there... and I hated it.

The second thinking brain, the one that evaluates, reasons, figures stuff out, is slow and plodding, and hard work. Creates real solutions, keeps you out of trouble... but not fun.

And then there is the third thinking brain... the work of thinking is done in the background, on the back burner, while the foreground is silent, resting, or busy learning something new..

That is where I live now.

I am getting a few questions about that, and I decided to tell you as much as I can see... the mechanism is largely hidden from my view... It is in the background...

I"ll use myself, and clients" and students" stuff as illustrations...

In the past month I saw more maturing, more "going to the next level" than I had seen in all my career as a coach.

CLICK TO CONTINUE

The third brain... immersion: the secret to mastery of life and growth

There are, in my experience, three thinking brains, at least potentially, in every human...

The first thinking brain, the mind, that is in cahoots, in collusion, working against you with the selfish gene. That is what creates a life of reactivity, full of fear, full of anxiety, full of sharp turns and devastating jerks. I"ve lived there... and I hated it.

The second thinking brain, the one that evaluates, reasons, figures stuff out, is slow and plodding, and hard work. Creates real solutions, keeps you out of trouble... but not fun.

And then there is the third thinking brain... the work of thinking is done in the background, on the back burner, while the foreground is silent, resting, or busy learning something new..

That is where I live now.

I am getting a few questions about that, and I decided to tell you as much as I can see... the mechanism is largely hidden from my view... It is in the background...

I"ll use myself, and clients" and students" stuff as illustrations...

In the past month I saw more maturing, more "going to the next level" than I had seen in all my career as a coach.

CLICK TO CONTINUE

The price of comfort...

Where did this humanity-wide phenomenon of being so weak... living like a putz come from?

Putz: putz
noun
1. a stupid or worthless person.
2. vulgar slang: a limp dick.
verb: putz; engage in inconsequential or unproductive activity.
origin: 1960s: Yiddish, literally ‘penis.’

I meant to share student essays on how self-created rules keep them alienated from themselves, keep them playing safe and dead... not joyful, not accomplished, not living a life worth living.

Then I changed my mind.

I had two calls, where I was training, each, a person to take on a practice to activate the capacity to be with unpleasant, bothersome, disturbing feelings and actions. To be a MAN...

This capacity used to be active in humans... but because of the widespread positive thinking and comfort: society now deems these situations, these feelings, these actions undesirable.


Result: the capacity went dormant, and people are suppressing the unpleasantness, and with that all the joys, all the ambitions, all what makes a person alive.

Dead-inside people, dead-inside society. Lifeless. SELF-less. Autonomy-less. Substance-less. The culture of butterflies... not MEN.

Don"t be mistaken: life is made up of 90% unpleasant tasks, unpleasant thoughts, unpleasant feelings. Every life. Everyone"s life... Including billionaires, you, and me.

As I was talking on the call I mentioned above, I used a turn of phrase that is not used in "normal" language: it is a technical term from a course I did in Landmark.

I felt the anxiety rise in the client and stop at the chest... solid, gripping.

The phrase I used "I took you to Paris..." [note]It simply means: hijacking the conversation, forcing it to go on a sidetrack. Much like taking an old lady across the street who didn"t want to go... Or hijacking an air plane heading to Ohio... instead to go to Paris. Clear enough? technical term... colorful language.[/note]

The situation calls for a "what the heck is Paris... where did that come from?!" uttered with a tinge of annoyance. Like a WTF... lol.

That would be a normal reaction... instead: the anxiety was there...

But life is full of situations like that... I experience them daily. A word I don"t know in a book I read. An email that is not clear hits my inbox. A process I am trying to learn and the instructions sound gibberish to me, full of seemingly intelligent statements, except that they make no sense to me. Unpleasant, disturbing, annoying.

Most of you will go into the anxiety... and then quit. Quit listening, quit reading. Quit learning. Quit growing. Withdraw. Shrink. Become a putz.

Why? Because the cost of continuing is to say yes to that chest grabbing, throat grabbing feeling... and you are averse to it: you should not feel bad... you say, and you quit.

I have an environment full of quitters. Some last five minutes, some quite before they start.

• My landlord doesn"t answer my email... I imagine he is putting his fingers in his ears and sings loudly: la-la-la... lol.


• My Sunday friend resigns to working till he dies... because the alternative would include learning something... reading a book... and that feels unconfrontable.


• And my students jump from one topic to the other... On one hand they are trying to fool me. On the other hand they are trying to fool themselves.Feeling bad about themselves is probably less painful than buckling down and actually doing something courageous: finish a book, practice the guitar... whatever they see that would take them to the good life.

We have a humanity bent on campaigning...

A campaign is a short term project. It is supposedly a quick solution to a problem.

Like a fence... putting it up in a hurry.

Temporary solution to a permanent issue.

The hasty solutions that make billionaire merchants and marketers.

And even if, accidentally, you buy a permanent, a good solution, your implementation is shabby... Just look what you have done with the Water Energizer... half assed... "too hard" you moan.

A few days ago I shared how I eat, how I turned my body into a fat burning metabolism, and how much better I feel.

Now everybody wants to do what I do. Some of what I do... without the effort.

What they don"t get... can"t get, is this: It"s taken me trials and errors, and then successful actions for almost six months.

After countless years of being a carb-burning machine [note]meaning that any fuel that hit my body was first converted into carbs in the liver, and used that way. And now that I am looking, I can see that my liver was always congested, and even hurt... even though they say the liver doesn"t hurt. My liver hurt... and it doesn"t hurt any more. It can use all its energies to remove toxins from my blood... And my body can happily use the fat as fat. One other unexpected thing happened: I am dropping the weight and there is no loose skin... I am going from tight to tight to tight... Whereas when you are a carb burning machine, your skin will hang loose on you if you attempt to drop weight.[/note] , the body is not very willing to change its ways... although it can.

But if you are interested in continuing to campaign in life, this is not a path you want to take.

According to muscle test, it takes, unless you make mistakes, four months for the body to change its "mind". Longer if you make mistakes, like eat treats...

In my humble opinion, you need to look at your life and need to make decisions about yourself and your life.

Is it worth to live a lifestyle consistent with being well, being intelligent, being a high vibration, high achiever person or not?

For most of you the answer is no. You say no, not me.

Because unless you make major changes in your lifestyle... i.e. build a fence with painstaking attention, for eternity, you will still remain in the world of "not worth a damn". [note]Here we are looking at your extrinsic worth.

Your intrinsic worth is innate and cannot be increased. But your extrinsic worth, your worth in the world, for the people you serve, the people that interact with you, your monetary worth needs to increase, because as a weakling, as a limp dick, as a campaigner you are not worth much. Definitely not worth your salary, your marriage, your perks...[/note]

I have had to decide to NEVER eat chocolate again. NEVER eat bread again. NEVER eat or drink anything that is not on my food list.

I have decided that it is worth it to me. That for a permanent wellness it is worth giving up the temporary pleasure.

And surprisingly, as my body adjusted, the cravings stopped too. I have pleasure eating what I am eating. Delicious.

But each seemingly tiny misstep, like having a cup of coffee with half and half in the grocery store, causes a whole week of carb cravings.

Your body asks for what will make it continue to be the way the last bite you gave it. Carb? it asks for carbs... and because of the yeast the carbs feed, it has a longer memory for carbs.

The body is not smart, it doesn"t have foresight, it doesn"t know the direction it"s going. And it doesn"t care...

You give it a small cookie, and now it will nag you for cookies and bread, and hot cocoa... persistently, like a little kid.

Are you able to say: it"s not worth it. It is not worth giving up a future that is wellness, and high energy, and high emotional and intellectual intelligence... for a darn little cookie...

Are you?

It doesn"t matter what I think. It doesn"t matter what I teach. It doesn"t matter what you would like.

It only matters what you decide.

The word "decide" has the same root as suicide, genocide. It means "killing".

Decide means "killing the alternative".

That is why it"s so effective, and that is why it is so hard to decide.

It is fraught with unpleasant feelings. Fear. Discomfort. Anxiety.

Unless you activate that capacity... again... you are going to remain a limp dick... a putz... not worth a damn.

The moment your NEVER is: as soon as I drop the weight, get married, get that job... you will fall back to the ordinary life... guaranteed.

If I started to feel confident that I am now able to stay pretty and drink half and half... I would start to pack the pounds back on, be emotionally unbalanced (the sugar in the cream!). Guaranteed.

So don"t use a method as a temporary solution, unless you are committed, decided to live that way.

Please. Don"t be stupid.

How to find your real self... instead of honoring your false self as yourself

As I have written before, the book I am reading now is the Metaskills.

The author is a designer, and looks at life through a designer"s glasses.

The article "You live in a world of your own design" is one of the favorite articles on my site. People want to design their lives.

The popularity of the program, Mind Movies builds on that desire to design... but the requirements for design are not there, not there for 99.99% of humanity... What is there is something else, something that doesn"t allow for design.

The basics of being a designer is what is most missing in life... if you really look, you can see it.

What there is is reacting, changing, and fixing. Deciding and options.

Designing is a creative process that gets killed by deadlines, and any force.

If we needed to find one word for humanity"s dominant attitude, it is forceful, maybe even violent.

I know it doesn"t sound good, but it"s what it is, not good. It"s forceful. Tree of Knowledge of good and evil... And your life reflects it.

The good life, Eaudaimonia, the excellent life, is not forceful. Actually you cannot achieve a good life if there is any force.

Look at a juggler. No force. Fluid. Neither internal, nor external tension.

I am trying to teach muscle testing to one of my students. Remotely, of course. So it is a written conversation, hard to convey how to hold the fingers.

His muscles are aching... He is pressing. Forceful. I am holding my fingers lightly together, both hands.

I don"t force anything.

• Hurry is force.


• Worry is force.


• Having an agenda is force


• Focusing is force.

There is no force on the creative plane. No argument. No right and wrong. No frustration. No anger. No spitefulness. No resistance.

• I have decades of practice in no-force activities.


• I was a gymnast on the uneven bars. It is impossible to do it well with any force... the secret is to be loose and effortless.


• I was doing pantomime for three years... impossible to do pantomime with any force


• I was beaten for two decades: impossible to stay well beaten if you resist any of it. Even when you are kicked off the stairs... Just stay loose and you"ll be fine.

Life is done best when you mount no resistance.

I only feel resistance, your resistance, when I am connected to you. I feel what life is like for you, and I feel your pain.

I don"t know how you learn to not resist and not force. It is not passive... it is actively remaining loose. Catching force, catching resistance, catching the tension, and letting it go.

One of my students wrote today: "Why am I such a pushover?"

Non-resistance doesn"t mean pushover. It doesn"t mean you"ll be swept away by anyone"s action.

There is a pushover, ragdoll state... and then there is the effortless standing. Effortless moving. Effortless everything. Free of tension.

It all depends on core strength.

And it all goes back to Self.

The most important thing you can do is to separate your self from your "not-self".

As long as they are collapsed, as long as they are treated, by you, as a unit, you have NO core. NO self.

It"s taken me a long time and a lot of work to get to be able to say that sentence.

The truth is: there is a self and there is a false self, or "not-self". Even a baby has both after a day or two being alive.

And yet, most people either identify with their collapsed self which is 99% "not-self", forceful, violent, domineering, or they feel that they are empty inside.

The way to distinguish anything is to find what it isn"t. To find what are its boundaries.

So is with the Self.

The Self is definitely not the "not-self". To define the Self, you have to be intimately familiar with the "not-self".

Your clues about the not-self are the internal dialogs, or monologues... the voices in your head.

They are the not-you. And they are carrying the day for you... and the you doesn"t have a chance, until you separate the wheat from the chaff... like Cinderella did.

It takes time. It takes patience. And it takes a light hand... the moment you try to force anything, try to fix anything, try to change anything, try to kill anything, you are creating the next era, where the internal conversation goes so deep underground, it"s going to take excavation to get to it.

Some of you are already there: you are the most forceful soul correction. You probably only hear 2-3-4 sentences, but your life is forceful, your life is full of resistance, stuckedness.

So what do you need to do to hear, see, feel the internal conversation? To bring gentle curiosity to it?

You may need to learn to relax your body. Tons of free guided meditations on youtube.

You may need to start bringing that relaxed state to your life.

Some of you even force relaxed states. Some of you immediately go into an unconscious state.

Just stay with it. It is innate, and you"ll know when you have it. It"s like balance... until you have it, all the words in the world won"t help you... But once you have it, you can get back to it, faster and faster with practice.

• You can notice your breathing.


• If it is shallow, you are tense.


• If it you can feel any part of your body: you are tense.

Keep on practicing.

Just like there is no chance for creativity to emerge if there is force, there is a deadline, or there is a goal... your relaxed state and your internal conversation will not come up.

And your life will remain as it is.
If it is painful, you are tense.