Reality for dummies

A few years ago I made a lot of money selling my Sleep Rescue Remedy. It worked, and 80% of the buyers bought it again. All I needed to do is fill and shop bottles fast enough.

Sleep is a big problem, and unless it is solved, people are getting more and more incoherent and less and less brilliant, less and less able to contain their anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, or desires...

Sleep is a lot like eating: people are unwilling to be disciplined about it, and they pay the price. A big price.

But it is a potentially big money maker.

So why am I not pursuing it? After all making money is good, right?

My answer even surprised me: because it is boring.

Hm, interesting. Is all making money boring?

I spent some time looking at that question. And I have to think, that all making money, a lot of money, require to solve problems that people know they have, so they are already main stream.

And main stream means there are billions of people who know they have a problem, so selling them is a piece of cake, if your product does solve the problem.

But if it is this simple, then it"s boring. It"s repetitive, and requires no thinking, no brilliance. ((I know a guy who makes good money. One time I asked him if he could do anything with his life, what he would do. He answered, that he would teach in college, because he would have a chance to use the gray matter in his brain.

If you are like him, making money will not satisfy you.))

Now, if your solution, if your product does not solve the problem, if you are a shyster, then it may get more interesting: you have to lie convincingly, make up good and better stories, invent customer success... so it is a lot more interesting, albeit it has no integrity.

Because I live and teach by the Anna Karenina Principle: All happy families are alike, all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way... the Strait and Narrow, the removing everything that would make you unhappy, sleep poorly, have poor digestion, be fat, be uninspired, fill your cone of vision by yourself... etc., for me selling what doesn"t work would not work: if you want to love yourself and love your life, you have to have high level of integrity in every area of life.

What"s wrong with boring? Nothing really, other than boring is BORING.

In my business there are a lot of repetitive actions, and one could say that they are boring, and they would be that... for you. But for me almost everything I do is exciting, because for me everything I do is finding ways to be strait and narrow... and it seems that takes some effort... it seems that human nature is a lot like a new puppy: wants to pee on everything.

Or a new kitten... wants to climb on the top of every furniture, climb every curtain, every tree, even if it cannot get back down.

Nature wants you to climb higher... and unless you do it inside, it will make you do it outside... and then you can"t get down. And unlike with the kitty, there are no nice firemen with their long ladders come to the rescue.

I have watched people who could not pay their credit card bills, who had no hopes to pay it from their income, and suddenly they bought some fancy package of some fancy way to make money they have no means to follow... neither the brain, nor the know-how, nor nothing.

My method of making every step I take, literally or figuratively, part of growth and therefore exciting, has kept me out of trouble, even though when I get overconfident, I also climb the curtain... my own inimitable way, making myself miserable for a day or two.

But for the most part, I have managed to live an interesting, exciting life that looks, for others, like the most boring life ever.

So what is my secret?

I have a lot of secrets, actually.

Life"s most interesting aspect is that no one secret solution will be effective everywhere.

Not even with sleep... Not even with eating... not even with love...

So when you are desperately looking for the hammer to squash the problem you have, you are really having a fix-it attack... but every fixing is the source of much bigger problems, especially when it deals with people.

My mother was a fix-it type person, looking for fixes to contain me as a child.

She had a fix for everything, for how I ate (or didn"t), for how I slept, for how I spoke, for how I moved.

Being on the receiving end of a fix-it person is a miserable thing... Because all fix-it persons ignore what is there, and replace it with a "wrong, must be fixed" thing.

But, you see, my mother was quite typical, as far as mothers go... if you look. She saw nothing of me, other than what bothered her, frustrated her, angered her. ((I have heard that occasionally she bragged about me, but she never let me know that she noticed anything I did right.))

She never looked at life, at herself, through my eyes, never even tried. My mother"s about-me score was 80%. She never saw how things were, she could only see how she was.

Your high about-me score makes you a poor spouse, a poor mother, and makes you make a lot of false steps in life because you don"t see things as they are, you see them as you are...

One of the most important things I teach people is reality.

Reality is collective hunch at best... but it is inherently inaccurate, but still a thousand times more accurate than seeing the world, reality as you are.

Even becoming half-skilled at seeing reality is a source of incredible improvement in people"s lives...

And because you are part of reality, seeing yourself as you are is the most freeing of all.

Now, what happens after you become skilled at seeing reality less the way you are, and more how it is, is a total miracle:

You start to spend less time in your head, and suddenly you have time, energy, and gasp! CURIOSITY to do things that can fill your life with joy and excitement and discovery and purpose.

Teaching people to see reality is not a money-maker, I can tell you that.

Why?

As I said in the beginning of this article, the only thing that makes a lot of money, is solving problems people KNOW they have.

Do you know that you don"t see reality, you only see yourself?

No, you don"t.

My best student whose Achilles heel is the Desire Trap, has pretended for 25 months! He pretended that he believed me that he had an issue with the desire trap. Whenever he had a chance, he got caught in it, again and again and again, destroying his health, his mood, his intelligence each time... and yet, he could not see it, he needed first to see it to believe it.

It took me 25 months to write an article that drove it home for him... that made him see it on others and then see it on himself... and now he knows he has this problem.

And he is my BEST student. 25 months... definitely not a money maker topic! lol

So from this, you can see that the number of people, on the planet, people who can see that they don"t see things as they are, instead they see them as they are is very low, according to muscle test, my type of muscle test where I am asking All-of-it, not my body! is a whole whopping 10. Not 10%, no. Ten people.

And most of those are my students already.

So yeah, what I teach is not a money maker because people don"t take to it, don"t look for it, don"t google it, because they don"t know they have this problem.

I read. I read a lot. Lately I read mystery, detective, assassin stories by good writers. On average one book a day.

Before I read a book, I muscle test if I should read it.

The only reason to read anything is to see more of reality.

No matter who you are, no matter how high your vibration, you have been presented with a story and not reality. In your studies, on TV, radio, internet, books.

A story standing in for reality, about reality... health, wealth, politics, love, everything.

So was I. I am not an exception.

If I am an exception in anything, then it is that I am conscious that the tendency of any human is to see the world as they are, not the way the world is.

So I read and see glimpses of how it may be, behind the story, behind the story they"ve fed me, fed you, fed everyone.

It"s not pretty, but my TLB is high, it"s 70. It"s very high. But it is not 100%, and when reality is shockingly different, in the books I read, from the story I swallowed, my TLB acts up... and I jump up, and run around, and eat, and suddenly I need to make a hot drink... reality is not pretty, and it is hard to be with.

But then I return to the book, and read on.

So the second most important capacity you need to acquire is the mental toughness that it takes to stare reality down.

The aspect of reality hardest to face is facing how you really are.

You may think that you know how you are, because you have words for it, but you are like the apologizing man: buying permission to continue doing what he is apologizing for.

You talk, creating smokescreen through which you can"t see.

How do I know what you really see about yourself? By your behavior. Your behavior reflects how you see reality.

Not what you think, not even how you think.

Your behavior reflects how you see yourself and reality.

And your words and your behavior don"t match.

So there you go... Your low TLB prevents you from seeing yourself as you are.

Now, I hope you have this question, how is it possible that I am having a fun, exciting, happening life, in spite of all the "boring" stuff I do, the boring way I eat, the isolation I live in, and the meager income I live on?

I always say that CONTEXT IS DECISIVE.

Context is words. What I say about what I do? Why I do what I do? What is my goal with what I do?

In the Juice Exercise, we ferret out the essence of what makes you juiced, what makes you come alive with pleasure, we pretty much ask: what context, brought to your life, will make all of your life fun and pleasurable FOR YOU?

For me it is penetrating the invisible, so I can bring the DIVINE (what"s beyond the visible) to everything. So I do everything with the intention to see what I can"t see, what is invisible to me... when I walk, when I go to the bathroom, when I read, when I write articles... when I go to my exercise class, when I try to sell the idea to my friend to accept my token of appreciation for all her care. Everything.

So having THAT context, the what makes me juiced, everywhere results in a juiced life... and I love it.

A "normal" person"s life is played out in the "I know that I know" and the "I know that I don"t know".

I can learn more about what I don"t know, and move it over to the "I know that I know" slice.

I literally don"t know anyone who has ever accepted that 99% of all knowledge is in the area of what you don"t know you don"t know.

There are people who give lip service to it, but lip service... we know it is lying through your teeth.

Even when someone teaches you, sheds light to a spot that you don"t know that you don"t know, you become all defensive, or huffy puffy, because it is never pleasant to find out that you have been wrong. Inaccurate. That your whole world has been based on some inaccurate view of reality.

My student, who after 25 months was suddenly able to see that he had the tendency to fall into the Desire Trap, is a hero in my mind.

Heroes are ordinary people who do extraordinary things. Being a hero is a moment to moment thing, not a label. I am almost certain that by now he has lost what he saw...  when was it... yesterday? ((As I am looking for a quote, or a picture to illustrate it, I am confronted by the optical illusion reflected in what I find: thinking that heroes are, or being hero is a status... The truth is, the reality is, that being a hero, when you are judged from what you achieve, destroys you, and destroys other people.

Being a hero is in the moment of choice... when you choose what takes courage and skills and a stronger desire than the desire for self-preservation. When you choose to desire something greater than yourself.

People"s blindness is accurately expressed in the memes they admire. A perfect meme to cement the chicken coop is something you can give lip service to, but will keep you in the chicken coop, like the meme saying "heroes are ordinary people who achieve extraordinary results"... obviously they are not talking about you, because you cannot see your way from where you are to extraordinary results, so being a hero is not a path you can take... but you can dream about it... and there you go: you are trapped in the Desire Trap.

Do you see now how it works? How society keeps you trapped?))

Yet he can"t unsee it. So seeing it again will be easier.

By the way, his TLB is 10... and as he will practice to see his ugliest self again and again, his TLB will have to rise, or he won"t do it.

His accountability partner also saw the reality of how his ugliest self is, and he has lost it too. Will he be able to see it again? Probably not. Unless by some miracle, or by some effort he can raise his TLB... which is 1.

So you can see the three mandatory elements to living a life you love:

1. reduce the about-me score, so you can see more of reality as it is
2. start to see and act on how you really are, the ugliness
3. know what gives you juice, and bring it to every aspect of your life.

Obviously teaching any of these skills or capacities isn"t a money maker... because even after reading this article, if you got this far in reading, strikes you that I am talking about other people... not you. You are not like that, but you can see that other people are.

Maybe I should reconsider solving sleep for people... eh?

The suppressed ambition... awakening your inner motive power

Although I use this iconic picture from the French protest... this is not a political article... Something, deep inside the French was activated by the new tax on fuel... and moved them to action...

In this article I want to talk about how to awaken that inner, deeply buried energy that could set you free. The caged desire. A suppressed desire.

Rob Brezsny, and many of his similar positive thinking contemporaries, cannot see, will not see, unwilling to see that not everyone is capable to do, see, understand, use everything.

This is my biggest beef with Landmark Education, or any other marketing organization or person: they lie. They pretend that you can do it, you can see it, you can understand it, you can use it.

So today, reading my horoscope for the week, I saw how I benefit from those famous horoscopes of Rob Brezsny, and how, for most people, they are just funny, or whimsical, but definitely not useful, or not always.

here is the horoscope I got today:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know the expiration dates that appear on the labels of the prescription drugs you buy? They don"t mean that the drugs lose their potency after that date. In fact, most drugs are still quite effective for at least another ten years. Let"s use this fact as a metaphor for a certain resource or influence in your life that you fear is used up or defunct. I"m guessing it still has a lot to offer you, although you will have to shift your thinking in order to make its reserves fully available.

OK, what did I do after I read this horoscope?

I immediately created a context: allow it take my view to a place where I normally dare not look... lol.

Where I"d rather be blind than see... where I am blinded by what I already think I know, some fear, some anxiety, some "monster" I don"t know how to deal with.

Does this context work with every horoscope by Rob Brezsny? I think so.

Anything that makes you look where you are afraid to look can make a huge difference, and Rob Brezsny"s mission is to make you look.

What is good about looking?

The size of the box you live in, the size of the life you live depends on how far and how wide you are willing to look.

The more things limit where you would look, the smaller your life.

So when you face, head-on, the areas or issues you are normally not willing to look at, you potentially remove the self-imposed limitations you put on yourself, and you can enlarge your life.

A small life is like a small prison cell... very limited. Not fun at all.

Actually, this is probably the first time I am really addressing this topic, thank god for triggers like this horoscope.

So where did I look, you ask?

I did what I am asking you to do: I looked at where I am scared... my life expectancy.

I am 71 years old, and even though my overall health is good, I have aches and pains, and I am somewhat limited in what I can do without driving.

So I have been ambivalent about this life expectancy/quality of life issue... afraid and powerless.

The horoscope, potentially, suggests that just like the expiration date, is like my life expectancy: I can live and be able to work a lot longer than my fears suggests...

And whether this is true or not, my life can feel bigger, my actions can become less restricted if I take it one day at a time, and focus on the difference I can make, the difference only I can make.

Some of my students deal with essentially similar self-limiting views... spending their whole life in preparing for threats, dealing with unfounded fears... all living in a small box... all their own making.

Now, what"s wrong with a small box? It"s comfortable...

But given the inner nature of a human, given The Original Design hardcoded in the DNA, humans are engineered by nature to live big. To see wide and deep. To make connections, To be the marvel of the Universe.

With your small life you are not much different from a chimp in a cage... Or, as a matter of fact, any domestic animal in its enclosure...

The soul, the spirit in you is weeping. And making you miserable.

The pain, the yearning, the longing, maybe even the fear you feel is from the soul... it wants you to live like a human... and start your growth towards human being.

The difference between an animal and a human is in their design... human design is for a bigger life... animals, on the other hand are designed for the life they live.

You are cheating yourself and Life out of its due...

Now, let"s talk a little bit what could dislodge you from this caged living, shall we?

I could say that returning you to high school circumstances could make a difference if your level of ambition, if your willingness to work for a future that cannot yet be seen, were higher.

But your ambition is where your ambition is... and your willingness is where your willingness is.

In my experience, the single most important step that made a difference for the people who went beyond the cage-living, who were willing to go back and fill the gaps in their knowledge, was the Juice Exercise.

The Juice Exercise is an innocent sounding conversation between a person and another, in our case you and me.

I ask questions and you look for the answer.

My job is to listen keenly... listen more with my feeling your feelings than my ears.

You may say you like something, but if there is no pain there, it is a trick you play on yourself and me.

I am looking for the pain... Pain and pleasure are the same feeling, creative tension and release... it is nature"s way to make you move. So that is what I am listening for.

When the conversation goes as it should, you get in touch with the most fundamental inner calling, your most fundamental desire that says who you are.

For me it is penetrating the invisible. Frightening and exciting at the same time. Without that I have mighty little to live for.

If I had to describe it differently, I would say that the desire is the same as sexual desire as far as the inner dynamic goes.

I am not quite surprised: the desire to multiply and the desire to live fully must come from the same source: The Life Force.

The purpose of the Juice Exercise call is to re-engage that desire that you have probably given up on fulfilling. Or if you are a woman, you may think that having given birth fulfilled that desire, but you will be mistaken.

It cannot, will not be fulfilled, not even having ten children, or adopting a billion kids...

It"s about conquering... consuming... overpowering... very sexual. A fire that cannot be extinguished.

When people are asked on their death bed, not following that desire is their biggest regret.

OK, and what is my offer... you knew it was coming... Right?

I am going to do as many Juice Calls as I can without destroying my health, in the coming month or two.

It can go as long as two hours... So my usual fee of $250 is a bargain.

But I am going to give you a break and take of $100... until further notice...

You will need to get your Starting Point Measurements... And I"ll throw that in: it is for my orientation...



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In the call we"ll ferret out what and which way your soul wants you to go to fulfill the unscratchable itch, start fulfilling the suppressed desire, so you suddenly have a reason to leave the safe confines of your cage... and start exploring the world that you were meant to conquer.

We"ll brainstorm about ways you can do that... and if I can, I"ll start you off with a spiritual practice that if you do daily, you"ll slowly strengthen the atrophied inner desire muscles to move you into effective action.

If you don"t think you can, if you don"t think you are willing to do a spiritual practice, please don"t waste my time coming... This is not a magic bullet.

Knowing about is NOT power. The difference between knowing about and knowing is the practice.

In the Bible (the original) knowing is used for the consummation of the relationship: sexual relations. Before that people only know about each other...

Knowing is a deep penetration... the consummation. Then you know.

If you want to just know about... your curiosity has already killed you! You can only die once.



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What gives you juice in life? what could give you juice in life? What is your unique way you can enter the flow, the zone at a moment"s notice?

Juiced vs. Driven (Juiced here means: turned on, excited, alive)

The most difficult attitude to take on or even comprehend is "desire for the sake of sharing". The opposite of that is "desire for the self alone".

Why is it so hard? Because... I actually don"t know...

I"ll kick it around in this article, and let"s say if I can say anything that resonates. With you.

Why wouldn"t? Well, it hasn"t. Not with you, and not with others.

If you are new to my articles: my self-assigned job is to ferret out, test out, experiment out what would take humans back to the evolutionary path they abandoned about 30 thousand years ago. They went deep into the current level of "homo sapiens" you could also call: the man who lives in the cave of their mind.

The alternative was to become human being, but that hasn"t happened, and cannot happen through the mind.



The mind is a dead end. When you go into a dead end, you normally turn around. But that didn"t happen to the surviving humans... instead they started to decorate the dead end and live there.

I first encountered this way of looking at life, at attitudes, in Kabbalah in 2002.

It is counter-cultural.

Desire for the self alone is everything you ever want. Desire for the self alone is the normal for homo sapiens.

Desire for the sake of sharing introduces a wrinkle what your good comes through providing good to the world.

http://evp-50116959de4b9-dd521b5ed563ee25508422182c681a30.s3.amazonaws.com/juiced.mp4

The invisible part is tricky: ultimately all good comes through the good you provide to the world, but, as with everything that is invisible, it is possible to trust, to have "faith", maybe even have certainty, that you don"t have to worry about getting what you want.

In every self-help program I have witnessed on some level, they want to mobilize your inner resources to be willing to DO good, to provide value, by asking you questions: what do you really want the end result to be. How do you want to feel? What do you want to have?

And with those questions they guide you straight to desire for the self alone.

I don"t know this makes no sense... sense is a mind thing, and inside the cave of your mind this is senseless.

Even the Kabbalah teachers didn"t understand it... you can only get it. Energetically.

For decades I volunteered in courses and seminars and programs in Landmark Education.

One mind blockage started to crumble through volunteering.

When you sign up to the "assistance program" how volunteering is called in Landmark, you need to make a commitment to get more out of your participation than what you put into it.

My first assisting assignment was to run the microphone. That means taking a microphone to a participant in the course, who was called on, so everyone can hear them.

You pay attention, you see someone being called on, your RUN with the microphone, gracefully, you hand it to them, and then you lower yourself on your knees, and become invisible.

After about 15 minutes of this, the person who I reported to, kicked me out of the room.

I was offended, I was hurt, I was angry. It took me many hours to get that I was putting ME ahead of the course.

I was about doing the job well. I was about running fast and gracefully. I was about being humble as I was sitting their on my knees.

The course could not be done with me in the room.

And I could not get more out of assisting than what I put into it. What I was on course to get is how great I was, how generous, how magnificent... blah blah blah... but I wasn"t getting that, I was DOING that. Fool"s gold. All "ego"... I don"t like this word, it isn"t precise enough, but I don"t have a better word right now.

My desire was for me to feel however I wanted to feel. And that was that.

Desire for the self alone takes away from someone. And gives you fool"s gold... Fool"s gold has no lasting value. And is fake gold to boot. All glitter, no warmth, no life.

The only way to get warmth is to become a channel. A channel is, maybe, the second important element of a transaction, and it is best if and when it"s invisible.

Obviously you cannot pretend to be invisible, the more you pretend the more you are seen.

And, just look, being invisible offends your ego. You want to, you need to, you want to, you should be important.

Those four words keep you trapped in the desire for the self alone, leaving you feeling empty, leaving you cold, alone, and unfulfilled. And still needing to motivate yourself.

Because you are not getting what you really want, what you really need: be the kind of person you could love.

The real self knows that you are all about yourself, yours and you. And that even leaves the real self out in the cold.

Werner Erhard had the right idea: whenever you plan on doing something, invent it as a possibility.

Possibility is a bad word, but let"s use it regardless, I"ll just explain what it is, the way Werner meant it.

Possibility is a state of being that can be expressed with an intrinsic value word. And intrinsic value noun that has an adjective counterpart.

Freedom - free
Humility - humble
Love - loving and loved

So taking a vacation is not called a possibility in this system. Or making money. Or starting a business. They are results, not possibility.

This possibility is like space for things to be.

Rich, successful, accomplished, a winner... need tweaking... because said with these words, the space is all about you. Yet there are spaces inside which you can experience being rich, being successful, being accomplished, being a winner... they are given by the space not your desire.

I have never met a person who felt rich, successful, accomplished, or a winner. I am talking about how they experienced themselves. They have all felt empty, robbed, a fake, a fraud.

How do I know? I feel what the person I am connected feels. The pretenses don"t work on me.

The beingness is missing, because the beingness was missing to begin with.

You cannot get to beingness through doingness. Only doing that comes from beingness will create more beingness.

And the beingness the "cave mind" starts with is always desire for the self alone. What you want, what you need, what you have to, what you should.

And of course you just get more of that...

Now, I am working and haven"t been to make a dent in this solid attitude that is invisible, desire for the self alone.

I will probably die without making a dent. And there is very little likelihood that someone will take up the baton, and continue the work.

When you go to a dead end, the best course of action is to go back to where you made the wrong step.

So what hope can I give you?

You need to find your individual wrong turn. Go back there and liberate yourself from the blatant desire for the self alone.

I had a call yesterday with a client. I call the call "The Juice Exercise".

The Juice is what you experience when your life is not about your life. When you are not the significant element of your life, you are allowing life to guide you.

It"s a simple exercise. The only problem with it is the ego of the facilitator. If they have an ego... you won"t get juice.

I taught the process to two people, long time ago. One day we didn"t have a client and they suggested that they do the process on me, to discover MY juice.

They asked: what do you like to do? Really like to do. whether you get paid for it with acknowledgment, of money...

I looked and I saw that I liked to cook soup.

They asked: what do you like about making soup?

I looked and I was that when I cooked soup I wasn"t there. ((One could say that i got into the zone... Csikszentmihalyi calls it "flow".)

And then they were stuck... but suddenly I saw the right question: who is doing the cooking then when you are not there? And the answer I had to that: The Divine... whatever the divine is.

The state where the Juice works is like that. It is the divine... not you. You get all the benefits, but you are not doing it, and you are not wanting it. You are only getting.

The tricky part is to let go of the desire for yourself, so the divine can operate.

It feels like unless YOU do it, unless YOU want it, it can"t happen.

Lack of trust, lack of faith, both Possibility words!

It feels like you will always be gypped, taken advantage of, pushed down, ignored, kept poor, unless you force your way... but that forcing is what creates the space for being gypped, taken advantage of, pushed down, etc.

Whatever we call intuitive in the cave, is all the opposite of what would make life work. Life? Flow? every fiber of your being wants to force. Force everything. You cannot receive, you have to take. And that is your life.

You are concerned, you are worried, you see yourself duped.

In the Juice conversation with the client I may have stumbled on his Juice... playing fantasy games, building fantasy worlds.

We haven"t taken it to its final stage, but I can promise: every single Juice exercise results in a version of "bringing the divine to everything" or maybe more accurately: ALLOWING the divine to come to everything.

Because the Divine is waiting to be allowed... you forcing yourself on Life is the issue.

Now, if I tell you this, will it make a difference? I doubt it. Why not? Because you"ll try to jump there, and pretend. Or FORCE the divine to take over. Can you see how ridiculous that is?

So going through the whole process and finding your unique way to enter the flow is needed or you"ll do it with the mind.

When I look back to my life, I see MY JUICE everywhere. When my brother and I took apart the many broken alarm clocks in the maid"s room... the juice was there. When I learned to swim: the juice was there. When I climbed up on the couch to answer the phone that told us I had a little sister: the juice was there.

Thousands of examples, and then nothing. Dutiful, purposeful, forceful, proper took over for a few years... And then I managed to drop it again.

Everyone has a specific way they get juiced... like the word? it takes a lot of humility and a lot of "bringing the divine to the conversation" to bring it out.

It"s expensive. Is it worth it? Not for everybody. Why? Because if what society wants, what the voices want, what the memes want have you by the throat, then society, the voices, the memes will pull you back.

If your environment, the people you share with, if your current job are intolerant for you to fly the coop, to get out of the chicken coop, then you"ll get a magical hour, but no transformation for life.

Is it worth to spend money on a magical hour? It is not mine to say.