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There are three categories of gurus and three types of seekers:
Category 1. The Hopeful Path: Naive, pliable, hopeful. Hoping that what you are doing is going to take you out of the misery: having feelings, and a constant battle inside between the aspects of a human being, each pulling in a different direction.
They really really really want to be enlightened! Really... lol. But they know they aren"t. There is shame and guilt and sadness in their emotions, and often anguish: the fear of being caught.
Ultimately you "do" this spirituality stuff to get away from being human.
You fail. There is no escape... you are human, with all that comes with that territory.
You are doing it all to fix a problem, and all solutions will become the next and bigger problem. You cannot fix being human... and that"s a problem for you.
The mystical experiences are few and far between, and you need to keep up appearances... but your life is boring, it"s miserable, you can"t do what a "normal" human can do: change directions, listen to the soul... you are stuck on a path that is not yours to sit on. You can"t go forward and you can"t go backward... it will look bad, and your followers will question your attainment, so you are stuck.
Accomplishment, fulfillment is not possible on this path, except intermittently. Although you seem to be living inward, what decided, what defines your being is all appearances, other people"s opinion.
In the relationship master/disciple, student, follower, the strings are all in the disciple"s hand. I have studied the Master/submissive relationship where the situation is the same: the submissive will decide what can and should be done and how. The submissive can leave the Master can"t.
The "guru" is now stuck, and can only sweeten his/her pot by adding some drugs, sex, alcohol, your choice...
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