After the DNA capacity activated: what is it like?

Some unexpected fallouts and insights from activating the newly discovered DNA capacity to all those people...

Suddenly this client thinks, for the first time, to ask how to speak to her mother in law who goes to her house, picks up her ironing and cleans her house...

Here is the whole conversation... this is an issue that SHOULD come up for everyone, because the idea of being interested in how a communication lands is one of those things, being able to see the consequences of your action. Communication is action!

So here is the email conversation where I teach her how to 1. be appreciative 2. be kind 3. be effective without forcing, without blaming, without making the other person defensive, and yet have a good chance to have the result you want... eventually.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2015, 1:23:16 PM, she wrote:


Okay I am taking the courage to e mail what came up today. Perhaps it is as a result of the activation.

I came home to find my mother in law had been in our house and had taken it upon herself to take my ironing with her and do cleaning in the house.

While some would like this it is different for me.

I find it an intrusion of my space and boundaries. Of course I am mad and want to tell her to stop but fear the consequences. The ego comes up saying leave it alone your only making a big deal out of nothing.

Is this coming up for me to move through the fear of saying what I want to say?

I really would appreciate your insight.

Many thanks

[client]


On Tuesday, November 3, 2015, Sophie wrote:
it IS coming up because of the activator.

but you are still stuck with the binary option... yell at her/say nothing.

I had something like this happen to me this morning, and I saw that there is a third option: gently suggesting. so I did. it wasn"t as smooth as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn"t hurtful either.

consider that your mother in law is best for you if she isn"t offended...

My issue was with my chiropractor, and instead of telling him how bad the last session was, I suggested this: Maybe we could try this...

So what can you tell your mother in law with a maybe? Maybe next time she could ask if it"s ok? Maybe she could help with something you do need help with?

The question is: are you willing to be generous of heart?

Thank you,
Sophie

Tuesday, November 3, 2015, 2:10:03 PM, she wrote:


Okay well what I really want to say is that I will ask for help if I need it but I don"t want her coming into my space unless I ask her to. It is a privacy thing and I want my own space and for her to repect that . I feel this really important for me.

It is how to say it without offending is the issue but that it won"t keep happening.

When you say are you willing to be generous of heart is do you mean that with her in this issue?

Thanks

[client]

On Tuesday, November 3, 2015, Sophie wrote:
yes. You see, it is easy to hurt someone. It
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