How to get reasonably clear of your past?

This morning, while I was measuring someone"s starting point measurements, I wondered if there was another word for the desire measure. And it is... drumroll: entitlement. The person feels entitled to get from nature, from the universe, from the world those things that are desired without having to earn it, work for it, barter for it, compete for it... just because they are themselves. Knowledge, love, respect, compliments, stuff, money... It is almost always the same number as the lack of humility number, how much you think of yourself as the center of the universe, as it"s about you, take things personally.

The higher those two numbers are the less satisfying life becomes, because you always feel cheated.

Every young child thinks that the world, other people, their emotional state and response is centered around them.

So when something happens, and something always happens! they are sure it has something to do with them, that somehow they caused it.

It"s, unfortunately, normal. It is the starting point of a string of misunderstanding, a string of false assumptions, a string of decisions that derail the person"s life.

Almost all that happens in the Landmark Forum, a 3-day course, is designed to bring this string into awareness, so consciousness can correct thinking and behavior after the Forum.

And the 5,000 dollar auditing in Dianetics is all about revisiting that original incident to pull the drama out of it.

Some soul-corrections are unwilling to let go of the drama, unwilling to let go of the story, because the person"s identity is born in that story... and one feels that giving up the story is certain death.

But that is a feeling, and it"s is mistaken.

I lived the first 50 years of my life with the identity of being the victim of abuse. It made me want to punish everyone, I felt the right to do so, entitled.

Then in a collaging exercise I suddenly saw that story and truth may overlap, and they are not the same.

So I started to look what was the truth in my abuse story... and saw that there was 99% words, drama, and 1% reality.

I realized that looking at reality, what actually happened, gently eased my foot off the floor where it had been stuck. Suddenly I experienced freedom, maybe even liberty, joy, self-determination: my actions became my actions, instead of reacting to some stuff that happened long-long time ago, that made me protect myself, or attack others.

I felt myself blossoming, while previously I was like a tight bud, refusing to blossom... why? because I was going to be abused... said the voices in my head.

Until this "suddenly" happens, almost everything you do is to avoid, prevent that thing from happening again, or think it is happening again.

I plan to cause that "suddenly" in session 3 of the Playground... and it is the hardest work I have ever done.

People suddenly resist, become dense, don"t understand, or quit.

If you are in the course, or if you want to prepare for a future that is now a pipe dream, ponder this question:

If I lost my identity, and were asked, or given the opportunity to build a new one: who would I like to be? What kind of person, what would I be doing? Would I be married, would I be a male or a female, what kind of work is calling to me?

The identity, that you are damaged goods, is the only thing that leaves... your level of education, depth and width of your knowledge, unfortunately, remains the same... and you remember your name...

The only identity you have is the original story and your reaction to make sure it never happens again.

You can start over. At any age.

The voices will stop saying: it is not safe to do X, or life is dangerous. You will reclaim your natural curiosity, and zest... because what dampened, what has almost extinguished that fire is the story.

Landmark calls it "your case", Dianetics calls it ... engram...

It is not easy to get rid of it. You won"t get rid of it until you can tell the difference between reality and the interpretation. And because life comes through "occurrence" which is reality plus interpretation, until we are able to separate reality from the interpretation, we are a puppet on a string... predictable, and mostly miserable.

Most people have several engrams... but there is always the original, the earliest, the largest default context, that invites all the other traumatic events, and also provides the interpretation.

My own is "I am on borrowed time... I should be dead." It was the default context of my life for ever... and even today I find myself in it, temporarily, when I see displeasure on anyone"s face.

Even today my first impulse is to withdraw and become invisible, or alternatively become obnoxious and defiant.

Engrams, or your case won"t disappear... no matter what the Scientology people say: you can never become "clear"... you just learn to recognize it and you know what to do next.

I teach that and we practice it in the Playground. Without practice it is worthless... But you don"t know that... Not knowing that you need to practice, or not having opportunities to do so is why most Landmark graduates pretend that they "got it" while their inner world is slowly dying... and their vibration stay low, maybe even gets lower.

I am learning more from the mistakes of others.

My guiding principles have been changing. I am learning how to put a 10 above your head, I am learning how to make it part of my programs that you practice so I can be sure I"ve done all I can do to guarantee your results.

I don"t want to tell the story again... it is in an older article of mine... about the #10 method.

I have dabbled in the #10 method, but never committed to it. It is totally counter to my nature, so it is really hard. And to create processes, to trust that in partnership with peers you"ll do the work... ditto... trust is a little difficult for me.

Nevertheless, I have committed to these new principles... and clients will notice, are noticing, because the difference is very tangible. If you are one of my clients/students and you have noticed... please share your experience with me. And if you haven"t... please call me on it. Thank you.

Oh, I am going to start, in addition to the currently running two Playgrounds, a third one, and maybe a fourth one.

If you are interested, sign up. It is my "loss leader" program: meaning: a lot of work for me, but it prepares you to become a "real" client, someone I can take all the way to human being: where you have a life you love and live it powerfully. It is involved... some weeks one phone/skype call with a partner, others a "hub"... a training with me.

The four core default contexts... or Why I stopped participating in Landmark Education?

Actually, I continued to participate in Landmark after the incident I"ll tell you about... but NEVER intended to contribute any more. Or not really. I was participating from hurt... knowing that what was broken cannot be fixed.

18 years ago, as I was coaching someone, it became clear to me that there are this four core invisibles, that are underneath every issue, every distinction, every weird, unethical, unsavory action a human being makes.

Even though the distinction that there is a broadcast going on that everyone hears and everyone tunes into some of it, part of it, the part that feels relevant to what is going on for them.

I remember, it was 1991, and I drove home after the session, and heard the broadcast that sounded like very radio station playing on the same wave length... and yet I could pick out the part that was hand in glove match to what was going on in my life... I was in love with a married man at the time... and everything relevant to that was playing for me.

I drove to New York and confronted my lover... I don"t remember what happened: nothing good, because nothing changed. I was still hooked... for many more years.

But the idea of the broadcast didn"t become the foundation of my teaching until earlier this year... and the magic began.

But I am getting ahead of myself here...

18 years ago, when I was in San Francisco, I already had an insight that was to revolutionize Landmark Education, that was to increase their results for people manyfold.

So I approached a person who was in charge of product development in Landmark, and shared what I taught in my last article.

The response was... "very nice."

No echo. No one there to hear it.

I was crushed, and dumbfounded...

Today I understand what happened, but at that time I didn"t.

Humans really want only one thing: looking good and making it. And, of course, underneath is, making it a must, are the core four: having to, needing to, wanting to, and should.

Check with yourself and see if you can find them: you have to look good. And you have to make it.

And anything that threatens it is either ignored, fought, smeared, killed, but never considered A is A...

The looking good and making it is survival... and comes from the genes.

But the genes are a lot more forgiving than the memes.

I have never seen an animal sitting and blaming themselves... they do that in fairy tales... but not in reality.

In reality, an animal may make a mistake, and look at the result of the mistake as A is A... and do the next best thing.

They don"t have having to... Having to is a meme.

I personally make sure that I don"t have to anything. I don"t have to do, see, feel, fix, hear... anything.

And I am still working on giving you the same privilege... or even giving Landmark leaders the same privilege.

They didn"t have to appreciate my contribution, they didn"t have to even listen. They would have been better off... but "looking good and making it" or having to look good and having to make it interfered.

They could not see it, because they never went deep enough.

You can only do things consistent with what you see... and, listen up! those Landmark people learned their distinctions, they did not invent it, or did not really make them theirs.

The Nobel Prize winning famous physicist, in an interview with Werner, complained that the applicants for graduate studies with this physicist, Feinstein, did not invent physics like he did.

I watched this with artists. I watched this with philosophy students. I watched this with architects. I watched this with energy practitioners. and... the areas of knowledge are endless.

Truth repeated is a lie. It"s like being a parent to a child borne by someone else. The child is both yours and not yours.

You"ll never get the whole of the foundation of becoming a human being, unless you get at least one thing you can give birth to.

I have one (1) student who is doing the work, and is making the distinctions his.

He is not the most educated, not the smartest, but the most changeable, the most willing to experiment.

Darwin said, in his "The origin of species" from 1859, that the species that survives is the one that is most adaptable.

Adaptable means changeable. Adaptable means: molding oneself to match the new requirements.

You can go on a hunt to find what you are unwilling to give up. What you are unwilling to negotiate. What you are unwilling to make malleable. What you are right about.

You"ll find many. And when you look, there is a "must be looking good and making it" underneath it.

You get instructions from a teacher you hired... but you"ll tweak it until it can"t work, won"t work but you"ll be right.

Or you"ll meekly accept, but refuse to look deeper. Or you argue. Or... many many ways you can be off the strait and narrow...

I can see the snow covered trees from where I sit, and watch, in amazement, the squirrel that runs on the underside of the branch where there is no snow.

The squirrel looks at the world and the snow and life as A is A.

If I suggested to you that you can do something like that in your life, you would have reasons not to do it. Because to you A is not A... A is what it should be for you to do what I asked you to do.

All to buy the right to remain the same.

To continue to live in quiet desperation. Powerless. Unaware that you are the cause. Ultimately.

Here is what I wrote to a student, just now...

I just wrote two articles, but actually proofreading and preparing it to be published takes time.

But they are a direct answer to your questions.

Your daughter is eating NOT according to her type... or she would not be sick.

The main job is to remove have to, need to, want to, and should... and turning all of them to "I get to..." a privilege.

I remember when I looked at life like that... especially on vacations... life was an adventure. I even got to go to school at any age: I loved going to school. I dreamed about moving into the school... how it felt when I was the only person. How it felt not having a shower, and yet being at home.

And I have the same relationship with my diet: I get to eat the stuff I get to eat...

I just did what I ask people to do... caught the mood the have to"s create, and changed the wording to "I get to".

It feels weird to have a glimmer, the stars in my eyes after so many decades of sadness and slavery.

NEW: No one can hear you... I mean, not really! A profound sense of being misunderstood

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The art of being heard the right way

On the Playground, last Tuesday"s topic was "Not being heard... Being misunderstood"

Every person had at least one painful incident where their speaking was earning them grief and heart ache, instead of what they wanted. Appreciation, understanding, equality, or love.

The most interesting thing was that when we looked, each and every one of us were repeating and repeating the incident in our lives, the same way, expecting a different result.

I had the same experience with clients before: until the "original" incident is drained of all the pain and charge, they were repeating it, and, listen up, unwilling to learn the way to be always heard, to be always known, to be never be hurt again, to be effective... the art of communication anything to anyone.

I remember when I first "learned" the art, I had no idea what I learned, so it went away. But until then there was nothing I could tell anyone, there was nothing I asked of anyone that wasn"t met with success, cooperation, support, and a delight.

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NEW: Mastery: how to go from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence?

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The one rule of the Playground Program: All speaking needs to answer the questions: what happened, what is real?

One of the first things people learn in the Landmark Forum is the idea that most of what you think happened to you, around you, in your life, is a story.

It"s a simple distinction, yet it is profound, it is life altering... for a moment. In the moment of seeing that, it is profound. Then it disappears, it goes underground.  It is replaced completely by the story... Flash in the pan, kitchen fire, not forest fire... Inconsequential. In spite of the fact that when it is alive, when it is operational, it is life altering, transformational. Big.

When I talk to graduates of Landmark"s programs, they, maybe, can give lip-service to this distinction, "story", they know about it, but if you listen to them, it is not a distinction that is alive and well, guiding them through the maze of mind-full (living from the mind) living, unconscious living, living without distinctions.

My experience has been that a little knowledge will definitely lower your vibration to lower than it was before that little knowledge. Tree of Knowledge... knowing about it, but no mastery.

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NEW: Updated: Higher Vibration and The Illusion of Dark Side

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Questions about dark side and dark energies are coming up a lot nowadays.

My approach to dark side,

... is Kabbalistic because Kabbalah"s approach to this issue is more useful for someone who wants to understand the issue or Dark Side.

You see, "where attention goes energy flows." And that attention actually creates or strengthens that which it energizes, even if it wasn"t there before. Especially when you say you don"t want it. Resistance to something is like pouring oil on the fire... makes it bigger. Like "I have no time", like : I am confused," like "nobody likes me." creates exactly what it complains about. Or "I am NOT stupid" or "I don"t want to feel this" or telling fear to go away, and the thousand and one way you can resist something. Even ignoring something is resistance to it.

In a recent Landmark Education seminar I learned that the poison that human beings swallowed wholly and greedily is "there is something wrong here," the foundation of human misery, the dark side: Right and Wrong... behaving as if there were a right way and this isn"t it.

It seems that you never stop for a second to ask the questions that could create choice:

Possible question to create choice #1:
You ask: Hm, Something wrong here? Says who? Then answer: _I_ say so (the same person who asked the question). Next: ask: who assigned me to be the judge? Do I know how it is supposed to be? Do I see the whole picture? -- And if you are anyone other than God, the answer is that you can"t see the whole picture, and therefore you don"t know if it is really wrong what"s happening... so you can see that you can"t tell wrong from right... Not knowing is a much higher state than being sure.

Possible question #2: Who or what wins if I choose to say "there is something wrong here."

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NEW: The size of your paradigm, the size of your puny world... and what can you do about it?

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You were born with a paradigm of 1,000. You were born innocent, knowing nothing, therefore knowing everything.

The tales of karma, the tales of past lives is not true, not really, maybe not at all.

You were born with no past and no future... Maybe some past starting from 4 month old in utero...

Then the world starts to "educate you" about what you can, what you can"t, what"s true and what"s false, and that is, for a while, passing on their paradigm. The intention is to keep you safe, not to imprison you, but ultimately that is the result they achieve.

Then you get to the ripe old age of 3 years old, and if you are typical, you start pretending that you already know everything there is to know, because you have already learned that the people who are big, seem to you to know everything... and they seem to you to do better than you.

The Second defining moment came...

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NEW: Landmark Education video on how to have a breakthrough in raising a lot of money... and my story Part Two

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I left it off in my previous (part one) article, that I signed up for the "thing" that this guy said made him so happy and smiley. I wanted it more than anything. I was miserable, lonely, depressed, and it … Continue reading →Read More ...
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NEW: Why do some people get fantastic results from the activators or the remedies and others get nothing or not much?

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Maxwell Maltz, the creator of the program and methodology Psycho Cybernetics, was a plastic surgeon. Plastic surgery, as a rule, is to make someone more beautiful.

Many of his patients, though, didn"t get what they hoped for. Everyone said that they were beautiful, but they could not see their new you, only the ugly that they wanted to get rid of.

We could say that they had a filter that allowed only the imperfections through. I think that this "theory" is more accurate than Maxwell Maltz"s theory of self-image.

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NEW: My teaching style... does it work? should I change it? a comparison with other teaching modalities

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Summary: In this article I examine different teaching styles in the area of spirituality, consciousness and transformation, and I explain why I teach the way I teach.


I got an email from a student of mine yesterday. I quote the whole letter in the footnotes... ((Sophie -

Would you consider trying a one-day-a-week separate new experimental coaching class in which you assume the best about the students and encourage them to keep working hard and acknowledge the improvements you see in them and give them a little time once in a while to tell the improvements they see in themselves? (a class that) doesn"t use abusing, berating, insulting and assuming the worst about the students?

As I envision it, the new experimental class would be as meaty as the current coaching calls are. And the fact that it would be acknowledging the things that are right about the students doesn"t mean it would be a wimpy, let-them-get-away-with-anything class. Like you do with the current coaching, in the experimental class you would demand that students be on time and do the work and be prepared if they want to stay in the class.

Advantages of trying the experimental coaching class along with continuing the current coaching classes:
(1) You could compare the actual results and know for sure which approach gets the best results.
(2) You might attract and keep more students with the experimental approach, which will give the world more chances of having people who are becoming expanding human beings.
(3) It will be a different challenge for you and give you more opportunities to work on your Soul Correction and practice your new capacities.
(4) From my own personal viewpoint, I would love being in the experimental class. I worked hard and made huge gains in Scientology and its approach is more like the experimental class approach so I know that approach works for me.

I haven"t been around your teachings long, but from listening to past class recordings, it appears that you had about 40 to 50 active students a couple years ago but only about 10 active students now. Maybe it"s time to try a few experiments to reverse the tide?

What do you think?

Thank you -

More: If you aren"t able to see any improvements in your students to acknowledge, then I guess you could listen to the improvements they share in the class and acknowledge them for those. But I know you"ve coached a lot of people over many years and, from my experience with you, you get results, so I think you have seen many things your students could be acknowledged for.

I know from my own experience there have been coaching sessions you"ve done that are like the experimental approach I describe. Especially when the student is confronting something that"s extremely painful for them. Like when you coached me through and incident. You were firm in getting me to confront it, but at the same time it felt like you were on my side getting me through it instead of hitting me with things that were wrong with me. That was a masterful coaching session. I doubt there"s anyone on the planet who could have coached like you did in that session and gotten me to see so much like you did. I made huge progress and my experience has been unbelievable ever since then. Something I thought was impossible, you made happen. Gains like that are examples of what I would enjoy sharing with you in a class like the experimental class. And you did it without berating or insulting me.))

I have been obsessing over it for the past hour or so: it feels hurtful, it feels like she says that I am wrong to teach the way I teach.

Her argument that Scientology teaches the way she suggests that I teach sounds really compelling, after all they got her to a respectable low vibration of 130... with a lot of what she says they did well. This sentence was tongue in cheek, if you haven"t noticed. 130 is misery.

Her vibration is 200 now. Not very high, but she got herself off the street level hustle and bustle...

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NEW: Is there a lazy way to heaven? Will my activators take you there?

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Is there a lazy way to heaven? Will my activators take you there?

First we must agree on what we"ll call lazy...

At the Budapest University of Technology I had a Math professor who started his first class asking who was the laziest person in the class. I raised my hand, in spite of the fact that you could have argued that I was the most diligent, the most industrious person you have ever known. But I considered myself lazy, and so I raised my hand.

He looked up through his inch-thick spectacles and said: "You"ll be the best in this class..." and he was right. I was the best, but why? I surely could not be the smartest?

He explained that a lazy person looks before he leaps. A lazy person looks at the whole process they consider doing on paper and evaluate it ahead of time. Much like a chess master seeing how the game unfolds. ((watch the full movie here ))



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