Feelings, emotions... if you could just feel better! How to increase your emotional intelligence?

We talk about feelings and emotions as if they were the same...

But they aren"t... And like with everything, on the current level of humanity we have a really hard time holding it together, and even hope for a life that is bearable.

But with knowledge can come power... and that is what I am offering in this article. ((I read some of Aristotle"s stuff. Honestly, I was just looking for his stuff on logic... reasoning, but what i found is his writing on the human body.

I had no idea, and had never given a thought about what people thought about how our bodies work thousands of years ago.

I was stunned. They thought the heart was the brain. That breathing was the soul... or the spirit... In Hungarian the words still reflect this level of truth value... less than 1%.

So suddenly it made sense to me how little we know, and how sure we are in our knowledge... wrongly.

The current level of knowledge, truth value, is 7%. Pitifully low. And we think we know everything. We live like we know everything. And the 7% is the level of scientists! Your level is still in the stone ages! yuk.))

Self-actualization, self-realization means: becoming the best you.

And the definition of good (according to Robert Hartman) is: that which fulfills completely its purpose.

One main area of life where we have been living in a dense fog is feelings.

The establishment of the "science" of psychology hasn"t helped, in fact it just made the fog deeper.

Why? because on the root level (think Tree!) nothing was revealed until a couple of years ago when a Hungarian engineer decided that it is time to approach this fog with the engineers understanding of dynamics... and he did a bang up job... meaning, an amazing job.

Margoczi writes:

On feelings, in a completely different way...
The fact that I can explain why Phineas P Gage used foul language may be interesting only to a few neurologists or psychologists at best.

My statement that Descartes"s famous saying "Cogito ergo sum", i.e. "I think, therefore I am" should be modified to "Sentio ergo sum", i.e. "I feel, therefore I am" will give a real headache only to a few philosophers.

"Okay, but then why should simple mortals read this book?" you may ask.

Because it can help you find your way in the world, one of the many individual worlds, but the only world that exists for you as well: the world of feelings – the world of your feelings.

Until his book we only had books that made absolutely no difference...

And this Freud quote had a 50% truth value for everyone...

The life imposed on us is too hard for us to bear: it brings too much pain, too many disappointments, too many insoluble problems. If we are to endure it, we cannot do without palliative measures. ... Of such measures there are perhaps three kinds: powerful distractions, which cause us to make light of our misery, substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it, and intoxicants, which anaesthetize us to it.

If you observed yourself (you probably don"t) you would see that this is true for you.

But why?

Our inner world, feelings, emotions, are impossible to have any power over, until you actually have some distinctions, until you actually can tell your ass from your elbow, and in this regard humanity is at a 7% truth value.

Everything biologists, geneticists, pharmacists, psychologists, medical doctors tell you has a maximum of 7% truth value, whether it is about what ails you, what you should eat, how you should live.

No clarity, no idea!

The man with one eye leads the blind, the blind leads the blind

If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit

and this has been our reality...

But the Hungarian engineer"s book has clarified a huge part of the fog. With regards to feelings and emotions the Feelings/Words book combo has brought up our knowledge"s truth value to 50%

Regarding humanity"s well being, this is more significant than Einstein"s discovery.

Now, why is this not felt in the world?

Many of my students have read the books, and yet they are not much more powerful with their inner world... but why? What is missing that if it were there, they would have a lot more power?

I am going to point to the most controversial, the most argued measurement in my Starting Point Measurements: your clarity score.

You can"t match words with feelings and/or emotions accurately: this is why I said: you can"t tell your ass from your elbow.

You don"t have an accurate vocabulary.

Once you do: life can open up for you and become your oyster.

So how do you increase your vocabulary about feelings?

I don"t know. I can only tell you how I did it:

I used the Bach Flower Remedies as my teachers. And when I became good at them, knowing how each of those feelings/emotions felt and where, and how they moved, I asked Source to duplicate them, so I don"t need the drops any more...

Now, I am a true empath. Without going through the study of the Bach Flower Remedies, I would NOT be a TRUE empaths... and between you and me, an empath is a dime a dozen, while a TRUE empath is rare.

Why? Because you are born with empathy, but only work makes you a TRUE empath, or a true anything, really.

Anyway, how did I study the Bach Flower Remedies?

Each plant, each remedy represents a negative feeling, a bad feeling, a restrictive, unpleasant, blockage creating feeling.

Each is associated with a word or a few words. Also each plant has a story, a behavior pattern in its natural habitat.

Hundreds upon hundreds of pages of original writing, and thousands of second-hand writings...

I am not going to suggest that you try duplicate my efforts. Especially because you have a natural inclination to avoid bad feelings...

But I am going to suggest that you pick a few of your frequent bad feelings, and try to approach them analytically, with the intention to identify them accurately, and when succeeding at naming them, take them through the idea that all emotions are marker feelings.

Marker feelings is a concept invented by Margoczi, the Hungarian engineer.

The concept is that certain words are reliably coupled with certain negative feelings. It"s individual, it comes from the culture of your family, schooling, society, religion, etc. We can say: words trigger emotions.

• Most of you have a harsh reaction to the idea of "wrong"... I have only a tiny blip in my stomach.


• Worthless is a word that is strongly coupled for me with the need to kill myself.

Your words, your trigger words are, in my humble opinion, are very consistent with your soul correction.

When you increase your accurate vocabulary, your power over your life, your emotional states increases exponentially.

Even just adding one word can double your well-being, if that word is a dominant negative emotion.

For me, the first such word was: "I am personally offended"... I recognized it from the turned down corners of my mouth... And I could see how ridiculous that was to take everything so personally.

I haven"t felt that way for a long time now...

This morning I felt resentful. I felt imposed upon. I resented the way LIFE is treating me.

Once I identified the emotion, I could say: my resentment secretly says that life, reality should be different than it is... But that very moment I snapped out of it, because life, reality, is always the way it is, and my power comes from interacting with reality the way reality is, not how I think it should be. Duh.

Later I felt reluctant... and did a look and see what I must have said about what I was not wanting to do... writing this article... lol... I probably said: a waste of time! ugh.

All emotions are marker feelings. Fear, anxiety, worry, trepidation, stinginess, holding back, hate, regret, guilt, shame... all of them. How many feelings are there? About as many as the energies in my "famed" Heaven on Earth, the bundle of Bach Flower Energies®

40.

We have more words than 40, but only those 40 are a perfect match to the emotions.

Most people have access to about seven... The more you have access to, the more you"ll enjoy reading fiction, the more access you"ll have to good feelings... but you have what you have.

Your job, if you want to move to a higher level of life, need to gain power, or better said: pull back your power from those pesky words that make you miserable.

This is not to say: replace them with a positive word. That theory doesn"t hold water. That theory is to turn you into sheep.

No, what you need to do is discredit the words. Like I discredited the two words creating the two feelings, resentment and offended.

With an intelligent conversation.

One of the programs I actively help you to do that is the Playground. I am ready to start a women only group. Why keep men and women separately? Because men are from Mars and women are from Venus... they can be considered separate species, as far as the Playground method goes.

I am flexible with regards to starting times... 7 am on... I have one woman enrolled, she is in the UK...

Use https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/meetingtime.html to see if you have compatible times with her.

Then write to me... I am flexible, but she isn"t... so best to first.

Once you are cleared, here is the button to register



If you"d rather have private conversations with me on identifying and eliminating your triggered emotions, please contact me so I can decide if I can produce the results for you. Email is best. contact me

How do you end up in the quadrant of Beauty, Truth, Goodness, or Power?

How? You choose it... and you choose it by your early life experience.

Of course, it is not what happens to you, but what you say about is, is what is your life experience. And it is influenced by your intangible capacities, even at that early age.

Let"s see an example or comparing two similar incidents, with two different choices.

• Little boy wants to go left in the street, parents want to go home, which is straight... parents go straight, little boy is left on the corner.


• Little girl goes too slow for mother"s taste, or maybe she is running late. But the mother decides to go ahead at her own pace, and leaves the little girl in the street.

Obviously both kids were picked up and taken home.

• The boy said: there is no truth. I have no power. I have to manipulate them better... I will choose beauty.


• The girl said: I am heavy, I am worthless... I choose goodness. I don"t need to be carried. I"ll go it alone if I must.

Makes sense? No. It made sense to the kids... and they set out their path in that decision. Set out what is important, what is worth it, what they will invest their lives in.

• Here is a third story, another little girl. She has an even younger sister who probably misbehaved. The father banishes the little one from the house, and hour later sends the older girl to fetch her.

The 4-year old said: there is no justice. there is no love. there is no truth. I have no power. I choose beauty, and I choose dutiful.

I have a lot more examples... ((Here are a few more:

• The little boy calls for his mother to wipe his a**. His father comes instead, and makes him stand up, all the "stuff" for the world to see. He decides that it"s important to keep people controlled... He chooses power over others.


• A little girl, third girl in the family, envies all the attention her older sisters are getting... in her world, at her expense. They get the attention she should be getting. She decides that the way to live life is the hog everything of everyone... she chose power over others.


• Yet another little girl defies her father"s instructions to not go out and play with kids outside. She goes, and gets caught. She decides the way to live life is to exercise power over everyone.


• This little girl defies her mother"s instruction to not go into the ocean so she won"t be carried away by the current. She gets carried away by the current. The mother almost kills herself to save her little girl. The girls decides that this power thing works... and makes it her life.

By the way, these power people are no longer students. Why? Because they wanted to overpower me. Fat chance.

My job is to stay free and clear so I can coach you... But that is not what they wanted.))

So what is the fundamental distinction between the choices?

I say the need for other people... or not.

• Goodness says: I can stand alone. I don"t need anyone to approve of me, I don"t need anyone to like me, I am enough alone.


• Truth says: I need people to agree with me. Beauty says: I need people to like me to approve of me. And Power says: I need people to own, I need people to turn to my will.

Some famous power people: Benjamin Franklin, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Charlie Munger, Sam Walton
Some famous goodness people: Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg

• Truth people are mostly campaigners, for justice, for the "truth"


• Beauty people... surround themselves with a lot of people, and in my humble opinion, don"t get much done.

Obviously I have just been scratching the surface of this topic, and haven"t been able to get deep. The truth value of what I am saying is 60%... and it"s because 40% is not visible yet.

One of the questions, the 64000 dollar question is: can you change your decision?

20% chance, according to Source, that you are able to. Most of you are stuck with what you have: good, bad, ugly.

Your job is to make the best with what you"ve got.

And that, my dear, is the best advice for everyone. If you look closely, only 10% of the best starting point, of the best given becomes anyone worth listening to, or watching.

How does the saying go? Be Someone Worth Reading Or Writing About. And you can accomplish that with any quadrant... I promise.

The distinction is: You can, but will you?

And a bonus assignment for those of you who know him: What quadrant is Tai Lopez in? Please comment below, or if you are stingy, email me. You can put Anonymous for your name, and no one but me will know who made that comment.

What do you want, really? or asked differently What do you really want?

The answer is in the values you choose to love...

I have been harping on values... and it is as if I were speaking in an auditorium where my voice doesn"t, can"t carry... there is no echo. ((My very first assignment as a newly minted architect was to create the acoustics for the rooms of the Academy of Music in Budapest. The requirements were: let the people in the room have good acoustics, while nothing to be heard outside of the room... tricky but can be done.))

Nothing and no one indicating that they are hearing me, that they are pondering, that the question is heard and taken on as a quest to answer, to ponder, to be taken with you to sleep, to your meditation, to your walks, so you eventually come up with something you value.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Community cannot for long feed on itself; it can only flourish with the coming of others from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brothers.

During times of war, hatred becomes quite respectable even though it has to masquerade often under the guise of patriotism.

- Howard Thurman (1900 - 1981)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUsG4B8VKqQ

There are two kinds of values, temporary/transitory and eternal.

Nothing wrong with either of them. but if your life is about chasing temporary, transitory values (systemic values and extrinsic values are all transitory) your life will be, meaning your experience of your life, a roller coaster. No permanence, especially not where it matters, on the inside.

The purpose of religion in its most benevolent form, is to give some sturdiness to your insides, so you have something beyond the momentary pleasures of eating, sexing, or the ego. ((Ego is a tricky word. I should have used "selfish gene" instead... but I am still a little confused, so let"s leave it at that.))

Obviously (to me and to Source) only two percent of religious people get the eternal values guide their lives, because what you need, the pre-condition to be guided by the eternal, is to surrender yourself to something greater than yourself: the eternal.

Three of the four ways the Divine gets to you, beauty, truth, and power are transitory, temporary, change with the culture. Goodness, on the other hand is eternal.

So people who are goodness influenced have an easier time to surrender. I am not saying all do... Donald Trump is a goodness person... do you see any signs of surrendering to a purpose larger than himself? I don"t. Stalin... ditto.

I have muscle tested many of the billionaires I know of... it"s a mixed bag... Half are goodness, the other half power over others. A very few are beauty or truth.

I just had a conversation with a client/student of mine. He guessed only about 20% right what someone"s quadrant was.

It turns out that we are not born into a quadrant, but by about 3-year old we choose one. I chose goodness, in a family of Power-people. I stuck out like a sore thumb.

When my mother came to visit me in the USA when I was 45, she had a puzzled look every time she looked at me. I seemed to her to be of a different species... and in essence I was.

Here is the most troubling piece: you have no Self if you are beauty, truth, or power. You live your life, do your work, not from your Self, but from some outside element, mostly other people, or a concept like money or success.

Where Self is supposed to be, you are empty. And that is frightening.

The good news is that you can build a Self... although your outward focus will be a real obstacle.

Do all Goodness people have a Self? Muscle test says: no. Only about 1% of them.

Why is that? Because we live in a culture where it is not hip to be an individual with a Self.

I am continuing this inquiry

It is obvious that certain cultures are more intent on killing individuality, your Self than others. Canada is one of these cultures. California is another.

New York where I live is second after New Jersey that is the friendliest to individuality, followed by New York and Massachusetts. Why? I don"t know. I lived in New Jersey for 16 years, but didn"t know to look.

This should clue you in that you see more of what is through distinctions. No distinctions: you walk around with empty eyes... that is pretty much most people on the planet.

This article has been in the making for a few days now, given that I can work on it a few minutes at a time before I get so sick that I have to go back to bed again.

The most alarming thing about these few days isn"t that I am very sick... it is the lack of curiosity my readers show, including my students.

The distinction: how the divine gets through to you is one of the fundamental distinctions that will show you how your machine operates, and what to do to become someone with a Self, that can have Self-confidence, Self-respect, Self-regard, Self-esteem, Self-governance.

Without those you have empty eyes, you can never be happy, and if I were you, that is an opportunity I would never want to miss.

I had a call yesterday with a Beauty person whose mantra is "it"s too much work for too little", in essence "it"s not worth it".

The expression comes to mind:

You know the price of everything, the value of nothing.

Because most of you have never had a Self, you actually don"t know what you are missing.

A simple test: ask yourself what you want for or from your life. If it"s something transient, puny, non-eternal... you are a dog that is wagged by the tail... a clear indication that you don"t have a Self.

When Thoreau said: the mass of men live a life of quiet desperation, he meant living without a Self. Living without an inner core. Being empty inside.

I don"t care what your gurus tell you: if you are empty inside, you try to fill it with pretty images, but still no Self.

Even though 10% of humanity has the capacity to surrender and become an individual, only 10% of those actually realize that.

When you look, we are born with a ton of capacities, and few turn capacities into abilities, functional and operative abilities. The same is with the capacity for being and individual. It takes courage, it takes trust, it takes turning your life over to a single integrated principle. That is an individual... And only an individual has a Self.

And if you know the real meaning of integrity, the sentence where it says: Being true to Your Self cannot be fulfilled unless you have a Self.

I have people who argue with me on their Starting Point Measurements, saying that everyone says their strongest attribute is their integrity, while their integrity number is under 10%.

You cannot have integrity without a Self.

I learned a lot of distinctions in my 26 years in Landmark Education. With this new distinction, I suddenly understood why only 1% of participants are ever able to live the life that is available from participation.

Only 1% of humanity has a Self... and to live a life you love and to live it powerfully needs you to have a Self.

The cornerstone of Landmark"s teaching is to invent a new possibility for yourself and your life.

Once. And then live it, allow it to guide your actions, your thinking, your life.

Instead all the people I knew there, invent something bombastic every few days, and then forget it. Without a Self, without the capacity to surrender, it is band aids, soothing salve, temporary relief.

This number includes staff as well... Even Werner Erhard is a man without a Self.

You can have a Self no matter what is the method the divine has to get to you. It takes work, it takes new abilities, it takes sometime all you got... and it"s worth it... if and when you realize that walking around empty is a guarantee that you"ll live and empty life.

Of course if your access to life, if your mantra is "It"s not worth the bother" you won"t do it. You will remain a second-hander, a looter, a moocher, an person with empty eyes.

One of the billions of "men" living a life of quiet desperation.

Your Dominant belief...

If I am better off than you, I have one thing that I can acknowledge, that you don"t seem to have: I don"t see that what I believe, my beliefs, have anything to do with what I do.

You do... You live in a world that preaches you to believe, and if and when you do, you can have anything you want, that you believe you can have. That is the floor of your world, and it is a false floor.

I don"t believe that, and I have proven a hundred times that what I believe or don"t believe is irrelevant.

So while you are trying to change your beliefs, while you follow any guru who promises to change your beliefs, and get even deeper entranched in that world view where your beliefs matter, I just do what I do, regardless of what I believe or what I don"t.

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