I haven"t been feeling well. I feel dumb, I don"t remember what I am talking about, I am foggy. I don"t remember names like normal, and in the evening I just want to sleep, instead of reading.I could be worrying, and I am hovering on the border of worry and "this is what it is"...
I could ask "what"s wrong", but that would lead to a fix-it mode... and I am not interested in that.
Instead I am saying: this has been an experiment, this is an experiment, albeit an unplanned one... Let"s see what we can see, what we can learn from this experiment?
Obviously this is not a question most people think to ask. In the age of reacting, in the age of thinking we know everything, we are asking stupider and stupider questions, and get ourselves into deep trouble.
So, if you can learn my methodology: that methodology, that attitude is the key that whatever and whoever has been trying to kill me, hasn"t been able to. Had it been you, I assert, you would be dead already. Or wish you were...
OK, so here is what I have done:
1. I asked: if this and experiment, let"s see what is the situation now? Status report...
I feel foggy. I feel disoriented. I feel incoherent, stupid, forgetful, out of sorts. As if I had early onset Alzheimer"s... But it doesn"t feel altogether physical.
OK: let me measure my cell hydration: I am relatively dehydrated. My cell hydration is only 30%. Compared to my usual 50-60% that is very low. Compared to your 3-10%, it is sky high.
I may not be drinking enough water. I may be have been drinking too much tea... and I may have been eating too much sugar free candy. Water doesn"t taste good compared to those tastes.
When I think how you must be feeling with your 3-10% cell hydration, I can"t imagine being you.
Truth be told, before I discovered that fully energized water, the magical moment of turning coherent, happens at 653, I was always dehydrated. My eyes were always burning. I was always thirsty. And I slept really poorly. Oh, and I peed a lot...
What numbers in my starting point measurements change when I am dehydrated, I wonder? Awareness is one: I can see that my cone of vision is narrow: I am in survival mode.
Turns out that measures 6-21 are more or less influenced by the level of cell hydration.
When your cells are in survival mode, YOU are in scarcity... and everything about you is about survival. ((these are measures 6-21 influenced negatively by your low cell hydration...
6. the level of your health (1-100):
7. the level of your cell hydration (1-100):
8. your relationship to feedback and instruction:
9. The level of discomfort you are willing to allow w/o trying to fix it. This is your TLB score...
10. The size of your vocabulary: the number of words you can use accurately:
11. To what degree you think of yourself:
12. # of fixed mindset:
13. Ambition:
14. Desire:
15. Degree of inauthenticity overall:
16. Level of integrity 1-100:
17. how enslaved are you to memes? (what percentage of your life is run by memes?)
18. do you have a bridge between your precious "I" and your actual I? What is your level of delusion
19. To what degree you have access to your adult capacities %
20. How teachable/how coachable are you?
21. The level of your awareness?))
But when my clients and students get their cell hydration to 30%, they are a lot more coherent than I am right now... So what else could be going on?
Question 2: ... I feel dumber that I should, even though my hydration is only 30%. What else could be going on?
Do I have an attachment? Not really, says muscle test. What is not really? Turns out that I am under psychic attack by someone who uses attachments to connect but they are not taking root in me... So she has to do it continuously: send bad, dark, destructive energies.
Oh yeah, this exact thing used to happen every month around the first week of the month...
Someone blames me for making less money that usual. I know who it is...
Her intent is to kill me... And I must admit it feels like I am dying.
What if people used their considerable skills for good, instead of trying to annihilate me...
And when I go back in my history of the last two times I felt like I was dying, it was also in the first week of the month... In February and March.
If I were as powerful as this person gives me credit for, I would be afraid. Because with great power comes great responsibility. But I am not powerful, I am simply connected to Source.
I am just an empath... not a sorceress, like this person.
Question 3: am I going to be OK?
Yeah... they will get busy doing other things. Also, going to bed early and getting up early can gain me several hours of freedom... while they sleep... hopefully.
PS: I am writing this next day. I went to sleep really early. I had a dream of being at some exam... and I was dumb, and slow, and could not make myself see what the task was... It was horrible.
Being able to see patterns, being able to know what you are seeing seems to be directly connected to coherence. And a whole lot of other things.
This morning I muscle tested a few other things that are happening, like my weight.
It seems that your body starts to withhold food when you are incoherent... when you live in scarcity. Boggles the mind... but it seems to be the case.
And the breath... Shallow...
It used to be that the attacks were not so continuous... At 6 pm it stopped last night, but obviously it restarted while I slept, thus the bad dream...
Maybe the person is traveling... the schedule makes me guess she is in Europe.
My article yesterday, about the man is a wolf to man, has resonated with a few of you.
When I look at what it is like inside a person who is willing to kill, I see self-hate.
There is a saying: as above as below. But it"s probably more accurate to say: as inside as outside.
But what is first... the chicken or the egg?
I know a lot of people who teach and practice changing the outside, hoping that it will change the inside.
But the outside is not able to change the inside. The beingness. The attitude. The relationship between you and you.
As I am struggling with the physical issues caused by this psychic attack, I feel no change in my attitude, only in my physicality. I don"t hate, I am not angry, and I am not in despair.
Your job, if you want to change YOUR WORLD, is to get aware, self-aware, and come to terms with the discord between your two selves.
Your delusional self tries to pretend that it"s a sunshiny person, that it is loving, that it"s a happy person... to the outside.
But the story is completely different when we look at their inner relationship, their relationship to themselves. Their is thick hate there... you can cut it with a knife.
That is why good people do bad things... Like conspire to kill someone else.
Your violence towards other people is only a reflection of your inner violence.
The world is changing. More and more people are interested in voodoo-like magical stuff, because the money they have can"t keep up with their sky-high desire for stuff. Or for experiences. Or whatever they desire.
And it"s getting worse, so more and more people see opportunity to exploit the unsuspecting desirous.
Of course none of that voodoo-like stuff works. None of it. It may be an experience with no lasting results.
And unless you learn to do something that people want to pay for, that people actually can use, you will become poor... And I think this is what is happening to this woman... and has been for a few years now. And her marketers...
My prediction is that in this new world only the mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually growing will succeed. And no voodoo will help you with that. In fact, it will use up the scarce energy you have to make yourself worth a damn.
